


When John Met Sherlock

by MorganeUK



Series: Rom-com adaptations... [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: AU 'When Harry Met Sally' - row com, Developing Friendships, Developing Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Eventual Smut, F/M, Faking It - Freeform, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jealous John Watson, M/M, Minor Molly Hooper/Greg Lestrade, Mutual Pining, Sherlock AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-01-25 09:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12527976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganeUK/pseuds/MorganeUK
Summary: At first they thought that friendship was impossible. Then meet again and become friends. After dinners, texts, cases and discussions they become more, best friends.Faking orgasm before falling on the floor together to get real one... Then going back to pushing each other away again... Before falling in love!But not necessarily in this order.Or the story of how John met Sherlock. (AU base on the marvelous rom-com 'When Harry Met Sally')





	1. 2 years ago

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language, not even my day-to-day one, so many many thanks to notjustmom for beta-ing. You're the best!
> 
> I am not the owner of Sherlock Holmes etc

 

It was a perfect autumn day… A nice day for a long ride. _If we can leave that damn place before midnight_, mutters Sherlock. He was waiting in the car for ten minutes now, waiting for John Watson to stop snogging a woman. _Get on with it! We have 750 kilometres to do! I know I should have left alone…_ A common friend of theirs, Mike, set them up for the ride when he realized that both men were planning to go to the same conference even if a national railway workers strike was going on. Sherlock looks through the window again and rolls his eyes as the ‘snogfest' was still going on! _How dumb and ordinary, the man is not even interesting enough for a full deduction..._  Finally, the door opens and John jumps in the car while waving to the young woman.

"Sorry about that mate, you know how it is!” He smiles then shakes his head at Sherlock's impatient indifference. _Okay… Maybe not!_

Sherlock wasn't one for chitchat... “If you want we can split the drive, it’s 7 hour 45 minute with one stop… we can split it roughly in the middle? Or do you prefer if we separate the drive by kilometres?” The tall man was already leaving the University of Edinburgh campus where the conference was. “I sent you the GPS coordinates and a map to your mobile yesterday.”

“Yeah, I received them… Are you all right for me to be here? You seem pretty tense.” _And just pretty also_ , John though smugly looking at the abundance of chocolate curls. 

“No, it’s ok… It’s just that I am not use to being confined with someone for so long and… Anyway! You can sleep or do whatever you want, I’ll stop at a convenient spot in approximatively 3 hours and 50 minutes.”

“I’m not tired right now, we may talk if you want.” He reaches for his bag to get snacks. “Do you want grapes? Or crackers?” John offers.

“No, I don’t like to eat when I’m thinking… ehhhh… driving,” a focused Sherlock replies.

“You must think a lot, seeing how thin you are!” John smiles but with a hedge of concern, _I am a doctor after all!_ “We’ve got all the time in the world, why don’t you tell me the story of your life?” The doctor was relaxed, fishing in his bag for more food. _God I am so hungry!_

“My life? Why do you want to learn about my life?” He was frowning, having difficulty to comprehend why a stranger was interested in _his_ life. _Anyway an edited and cleaned version of my life won’t be enough to get us out of the city!_

“We’ve got eight hours before London…” John smiles, but seeing that Sherlock wasn’t a sharing type he tries a different approach “Let’s start with something easy: Where did you met Mike?”

“I often go to Bart’s, where he works as you know...” he explains. 

 _From the tip of his luscious lips_ John thought _but_ _that's a start…_ “What are you doing, then. You’re not a doctor or if it’s the case you're one of the less flashy one that I know as you don’t put a ‘doctor’ in front of your name.” He smiles “Medical specialist of some sort?”

After a sigh and a quick change of lane to reach the busy highway, Sherlock replies “Nope.” Making an enticing pop at the end of the word.  At John's inquisitive gaze, he reluctantly adds “I work more specifically in the pathology lab…” Seeing that the obnoxious doctor was still waiting expectantly, he continues, “I’m a consultant detective.”

“Consultant detective, never heard of it! What do you do exactly?” John was annoyingly fussing with his bag of grapes.

Sherlock was once more angry at himself! _I should I’ve said no! Why do I always tried to be like everyone else… Like a 'normal' person... And if Mike thinks that I didn’t see through his matchmaking attempt… Okay, he’s… cute but…_ Not wanting to think any more about the sexy doctor ( _WHERE did that come from?_ ) he pushes his thoughts away with a “Could you please stop making so much noise and stay silent, I’m trying to think!”

“Okay… Mister big detective” John mocks, a little bit put off. _Too bad the man is a jerk!_ Taking out his phone, he quickly puts headphones and closed his eyes as he was listening to music. The image of the extremely annoying beautiful man still passing in front of his eyes.  _And Mike that thought we could at least be friends, nah!_  

 

John was lost in a dream full of an arrogant bastard with luxurious curls when someone shakes his shoulder. “Hummmm, whaaaat?”

“It’s been four fours, I'm stopping for a coffee and to use the facilities. Do as you wish.” He quickly jumps out of the car, walking to the little restaurant. 

“What the hell…” John grumbles as he places all his things back in his bag then gets out of the car, to run after Sherlock. _Long legs... of courses!… How is it possible for someone so damn attractive to be so damn annoying!!_  “Sherlock! Wait!”

“Why?” He looks at John, frowning. “What do you want?”

“We can _stop_ for a coffee and something to eat? No need to go back in the car right away… It’s not a run.” He summons his more dazzling smiles. “And I will drive for the next… 3 hours and 45 minutes.”

“As you wish, but I really don’t see why we must stop for real.” Then he walks inside the cute little restaurant. John follows him with a smirk, happy that he wins this one.  Once they were sitting in a booth, he looks at the menu with great attention… _Hum, great food, maybe we can go for a full meal. I’m starving!_

“What would it be love?” The waitress was looking at Sherlock with little stars in her eyes.

“A coffee.” The git replied curtly, glaring out the window.

“Come on, hon’, a beautiful morsel like you must need more than just…” The woman didn’t have time to finish her sorry seduction attempt.

“Only a coffee and no flirting.” He cuts her. The woman become as stiff as a pole then turn towards John.

“And you. Sir?”

“A coffee and a piece of apple pie à la mode.” He replies with his most sincere apologetic smile, trying to avoid anything unsavoury addition in his food. With tight lips, she turns to go back to the kitchen.

“Not good Sherlock…” John starts.

“What?” A confuse detective was looking at him. “Oh… that girl?” He rises his shoulders nonchalantly, obviously not caring.

“It's her job to be nice… you didn’t have to be rude, you know.”

“But I’m not interested so what’s the point?” His non-verbal signals screamed how annoyed he was with the conversation.

 _God gave me patience… Let’s try to shift the conversation on a more generic topic._ “You are not interested because you already have a girlfriend?”

“I don’t believe she was thinking about a long-time relationship…” He sneers then adds, “anyway, girlfriends are not my area.”

 _Oh… Ooooh…_ “Any… boyfriend then.” John rapidly asks, with a falsely disinterested look.  “Which is ok, you know…”

“I know it’s ok… but I don’t do relationships. I’m kind of married to my work you know…” John's heart unexpectedly sinks a little, _which is weird as he wasn't attracted what so ever to the pompous git,_ but the waitress returns so he didn’t say anything. He was mesmerized as Sherlock put a big show of saying ‘thank you and sorry I was stressed by whatever nonsense’ all that with blue and green puppy eyes… The waitress rapidly took back his coffee to bring another one (without spit in it probably!).  John was looking at the man in front of him… The turn of personality was so perfect that even if he personally had to deals with the man for the last hours he totally falls for the act. Once the dazzled woman leaves them to serve other clients, Sherlock drops the act as soon as her back is turned. “And I know that women are _definitely_ your area… They seem to like you.”

“What?” John was trying to remember what they were talking about before… before the mad man in front of him decided to ooze sexiness for the kick of it. _Right. Boyfriend and girlfriend._ “Oh… yes…” He smiles thinking of what-ever the name of the woman he was kissing in Edinburgh. He allowed himself a little smugness as he add “It was just a conference thing for both of us, it was fun that’s all. I am free then, like you…, and yes I think I am very well liked by… everyone.” _I am bi, I am bi, I am bi…_  

With a curious tone, Sherlock asks out the blue, “Do you have any female friends?”

“What?” God! I must stop saying ‘what’ at everything! 

“You look like a man who has friends, you socialize, yes? Do you have many friends that happen to be women?" Sherlock's tone was curious.

“No… I don’t really. Or at least not with women that I find attractive…”  _Oh, now *I* sound like a jerk!_

“Why?” He looks genuinely curious, his brows frown in perplexity.

John, after a few minutes, simply replies, “Don’t you think it... complicates everything?”

“Meaning?”

“Come on… how can you talk to… someone that you are attracted too about everything that happens in your life? Talking about her relationship with another guy, or yours with another woman… When the only thing you can think about is how to get in her pants!”  _It’s not rocket science, work with me, man!_

Sherlock tucked his hands under his chin, eyes closed. “So… you can be friends with a woman but only if you have no desire for her what so ever… Like a sister or a cousin.” The detective was trying to process the new data. "But if she doesn't want to have sex with you, that she has a boyfriend or kids or whatever?"

"It's too complicated anyway, the sex is just... there. A reminder of 'what if'."  _This is universal knowledge, I can believe I've got to explain that to a man in his mid-thirties!_

"But this is silly, you can't block half of humanity like that! And what if someone is bi, he can have no friends at all... Incredible, and we are in 2015!" He puts down his now empty coffee cup, "There's a woman that I'm friends with... I am not attracted to her even though she's definitively attracted to me. Should I stop being friendly towards her?"

"For her sake, yes!"  _Who's that woman? And what about men... Did he find any man attractive? This! This is the perfect example, you CAN'T be friends with someone that you fancy!!_

"Too bad then," Sherlock smiles sadly, "it looks that we will never be friends." He rises, calling the waitress and went to the front to pay the bill, leaving a troubled doctor at the table. 

_Did he means that... he found ME attractive. Or that he founds out that I am attracted to him! Oh My God!!!_

 

15 minutes later, John sits on the driver’s side. It was better but he was still under the shock of what the man beside him said in the restaurant. “Sherlock… About what I said...”

“We are late, please drive in silence. I need to work.” Then he opens his laptop on his knees and starts typing…

The rest of the ride was silent.  

 

4 hours later, after leaving the car at the rent-a-car office, Sherlock quickly thanks the doctor for the ride, calls a cab and disappears amongst 9 millions Londoners.

 _Shit._ Was the only thought that came into John’s mind before he walks to the nearest Tube station with the feeling that it was a missed opportunity. _And what the hell is a consultant detective?_


	2. 1 year and an half ago...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6 months later... John got the chance to chat again with Sherlock. 
> 
> Is there a way to make a better first impression the second time around?

John was waiting in line when his eyes drop on a familiar curly head few meters ahead of him.  _You’re kidding me… It’s Sherlock!_   If he’s honest with himself, the doctor will reluctantly admit that he often thought about the man in the last six months… First, he looked on the Internet and found his website ‘The Science of Deduction’ and read everything… Even the boring article about a million brands of tobacco! His name also came up few times in the newspaper, often in association with a DI from New Scotland Yard. Looking discreetly at Sherlock, who was talking on the phone with a harsh tone, he confirms that his memory was right and that the man was really a beautiful man.  _And smart also… In a dorky way, but smart and sexy nonetheless._

 

“Sir, the line is moving!” A woman behind him says, waking up from his daydream.

“Oh thanks… Sorry!” They were waiting for the security before getting aboard the Eurostar for Paris.

“No problem, you were lost in your happy thoughts!” The young woman smiles.

At another time, John will probably have reply with a something cute and an invitation for a coffee but he was still looking a Sherlock so he simply emits a low “Hummm… yes.”

“Do you know him? You are looking at him with a lot of… intensity.” The woman says with a smirk, a knowing glint in her eyes.

With a light pink on his cheeks,  _Christ I’m acting like a teenager_ , John improvises “Oh… not really. I drove with him from Edinburgh few months ago. I was just trying to remember his name.”

“Oh… his name…” She was now clearly laughing at his expense!

“Ah, ah, ah…” The doctor rolls his eyes “Don’t make fun of me. You’ve got to admit he’s bloody sexy.” John mutters as the woman was laughing harder.

“Maybe you’ll have the occasion to speak with him in the train? Who knows?”

“He’s probably in First Class… I’m not.” The little trip to see a friend in Paris was already an extravagant expense, even with his ex-military discount.

“Too bad… Who knows, if the stars are aligned it will happen.” She smiles and offers him her hand confidently. “Irene Adler”

“John, Doctor John Watson.” They shake their hands right before they were separated at security.  As he expects, Sherlock turns towards the first wagon of the train towards Business Class as he was going in Economy. 

 

He was taking out his computer, he was writing a medical blog nowadays – not at all inspired by Holmes’ blog thank you very much! – when the controller stops beside his seat. 

“Doctor Watson?” The man asks.

“Yes? Is there a problem?”

“No, Doctor, on the contrary. We have some seats left in First and the company is proud to gives you that gift for you services for the Country... in the military as a captain and in your civil life as a doctor.”

“Oh, great! Thanks!” Grabbing his stuff, he follows the man in the First Class car and was assign a seat… right beside Sherlock who was looking at his phone. On the other side of the aisle, few seats way, Irene winks at John mouthing a ‘It’s your chance! Go get it doctor!’.

The first 10 minutes, John was paralyzed. He read the magazine in the pocket of the seat in front of him. Thought about getting his computer, play with his phone… And turned his head probably 10 times in Sherlock direction, trying to find the words to start a brilliant and sassy conversation. _'Sherlock? We drove together from that conference, isn’t? It’s Sherlock right?' Why is it so complicated!... 'You know you’re the reason that I stuck with women in the last six months? No man can compare to you!' Come on Watson! Three continents Watson! You must find something to…_ But a wonderful voice stops his internal monologue.

“Stop fiddling Watson, it’s annoying and I can hear you thinking!”

“What?” John looks at Sherlock gobsmacked!

“What?”  _Again? Is the man really a doctor?_  “Really? Don’t tell me you didn’t know it was me?” The detective was still focusing on his phone.

“I realized it was you, of course… You have a particular physique and I recognize you right away… And... and I should stop talking right now.”

Sherlock smiles and puts his phone in his pocket. “No it’s ok… I’ve got nothing more interesting to do for the moment. So… Doctor John Watson. We have an hour and nothing else to do, what’s the story of  _your_  life?” He was copying John's initial question, with an open smile and a twinkle in his eyes.

 _Oh God… I’m in far more trouble than I initially thought. John, time to be brilliant!_ He smiles seductively, “I thought you were a detective extraordinaire, able to read everything about everyone.” He pauses, crosses his arms, locks a defiant gaze on Sherlock eyes. “Go on, impress the boy!”

 _Oh… that’s interesting. Nobody asks for it… Nobody…_  He quickly scans John from head to toe, checks his things, his clothes, his attitude… He didn’t search for the man online after their previous encounter, didn’t ask Mike for any inside info, unwilling to explore the funny feelings that were emerging when his rebel mind recalls that 8 hours drive. He was ready to impress him with his deduction when the steward arrives with his cart.

“Hello Sir, any drinks or snacks?”  The man was keenly looking at Sherlock, avoiding John completely.  _Come on, is it always like that!_ Sherlock, clearly somewhere else, didn’t acknowledge the man at all. John, pitying the steward,  orders for both of them. The man prepares two whisky sodas and a bowl of nuts and pretzel, gives them to John, and moves onto the next passenger. 

“Here you go…” John gives Sherlock his drink and place the snack between them. “And, by the way, I’m still waiting.”

“Oh…” Sherlock look at his drink “Why do I have a drink in my hand?”

“Because I ask for it… It’s a whisky-soda. If you don’t drink… Just give it to me. It’s not important. You were lost in your thoughts… and…”   _God, get a grip and stop babbling!_

“No, no, it’s ok. Fine. More than fine. It’s just that I’m not used that someone just… I don’t know… takes care of me like that.” After a sip, he puts his glass down. Not seeing the look of pity that quickly pass thru John’s eyes at his words, he closes his eyes, smiles and begins.

“Doctor John Watson… Ex-military, captain probably… Afghanistan.” He pauses few seconds. “You used to have a psychosomatic limp, it’s better now with the help of a therapist…. Your brother left his wife, probably because of his alcoholism.” He nibbles a few pretzels then says, “that’s about it for now… it’s harder when the person is aware of… Oh! You are seeing someone right now but she didn’t take you to the station… It’s better anyway it won’t last long, she’s cheating on you.”

“What?” John nearly splits his drink! 

Sherlock cocks an eyebrow that was crying a silent ‘ _Again? Really?_ ’ “Did I get everything right?”

“Yes… it’s unbelievable… Except for two things.” John picked up his drink and thought about his girlfriend Sarah.  _Is it possible the man was right? No… Impossible!_

“I am nearly never wrong.” The detective was looking at John defiantly.

“First, I need to know how you did that… I will tell you your errors after.”

 _The smug smiles on John face was so irritating! I know I am right!_ “Because of our previous introduction I already know that you are a doctor so that doesn’t count.  Your demeanour, the way you sit, walk, your haircut… are all screaming military. Ex-military and a doctor, the chance that you were captain or another rank was very high. You used to limp but not anymore but you don’t always favor a leg clearly over the other one so psychosomatic. And an ex-military with a psychosomatic wound is clearly going to a therapist...”

John nods… so far everything was perfect. “And Afghanistan?”

“Your skin has a golden glow that won’t come from being on holiday, you worked outdoor for a long period of time. The demarcation is clearly visible above your hand, so you were in uniform. Uniform, plus sun, Afghanistan or Iraq. You are currently reading The Kite Runner…” He points the book that was on top of his bag “It’s the novel about the war in Kaboul… so Afghanistan.”

“That’s brilliant! And it looks so easy… but I know it’s not! And for my brother?”

“Hmm...people usually told me to piss off or simply punch me! So first of all thanks for that..." He smiles shyly "For your brother? Oh… that was a long shot. Give me your phone…” John handed him the little device, their fingers barely touching “You see those little marks around the electric plug… Those little marks are caused by regularly plugging the phone with shaking hands... so an alcoholic. Also, the engraving on the phone, ‘Harry Watson From Clara xxx’. Harry Watson, so clearly a relative. But this is an expensive gadget it can’t come from a cousin… so a brother. An alcoholic brother. And the fact that you have the phone and not him it’s the proof that his relationship with Clara is not going well…”

“Perfect again! They split up a year ago.  But you’ve got something wrong… Harry is the diminutive for Harriet, my sister.” John let go a satisfy little laugh.  _Gotcha!_

“Always one thing! Always… A sister! Pfff… The idea of changing her name.” Sherlock frown as he was trying to figure out if it could have been possible to know that Harry was in fact a woman… He was lost in his thoughts when a little ‘hum hum’ interrupts his analysis.

“Yes?” He looks at John then remember… “Yes! You told me two mistakes.” He smiles “So… I miss something about your girlfriend?”  _Maybe a boyfriend instead… No, it’s definitively a woman._   

“It’s true that I am in couple right now, my girlfriend didn’t bring me to the station – don’t know why but she never does! – but she will never cheats on me.”

John calmed assurance nearly put Sherlock off but…  _Noooooo… I’m right._  “Your body have an undertone of an assertive sexy female perfume, so a relation with a girlfriend serious enough that you were with her this morning when she was readying herself for the day… But not serious enough for her to give you a lift to the station. How did I know? Easy, you haven’t been kissed in the last few hours, so the good bye kisses were at home. And, for the infidelity, you’re going to Paris for a weekend holiday and she didn’t come with you? She didn’t bring you to the station? She didn’t tell you that you missed a spot when you shaved this morning… She does not love you anymore and is happy to have a free weekend to go out with her... new prospect.”

“But! It’s untrue! And for the station, it’s only that she prefers to say goodbye in private…” John was slightly panicking as the little clues he voluntarily chose not to see were piling in front of his eyes!  _Is it possible?_

“No, people don’t go at the airport for three main reasons. They are too sad and don't want to cry in public, don’t like PDAs - which is clearly not the case in your situation, not with that annoyingly strong perfume - OR, they don’t want to start something they won’t be able to continue for a long period of time...”

“I don’t understand?”

“Bringing someone to the station or the airport is clearly the sign of deep affection… What’s going to happen when the love isn’t so deep anymore?” He goes silent, letting the idea sink in.

“… You stop going to the airport. Shit!”

“Yes, so either too timid for PDA or knowing that the interest won’t be long term and you don’t want all the unnecessary discussion about ‘why you didn’t give me a lift to the station anymore’…”

“It's amazing, you look like a normal man but actually you're the Angel of Bad News…” John shakes his head in dismal.

“Come on John, you weren’t planning to marry her anyway…” 

“No, probably not… But you know how it is. We must have someone in our lives at a certain point. We can't always be alone.”

“Why not? I am perfectly well alone…”

“I don't want to... I am so tired of all this... The flirting, the going out for lunch, the ‘are we going at my place or yours’, the sex that is great but not perfect because you don’t know the other well enough… The feeling that you just need to go ASAP. I’m a romantic, I want someone in my life, not only in my bed.”

“Sorry then, I shouldn’t have told you this about her…”  _What am I doing? When is the last time that I ask forgiveness for something?_

“It’s ok, it’s not your fault… In fact it is but it’s better for me to know, isn’t?” But John was now looking sad and gloomy.

 

They stay silent until the train arrives at the Gare du Nord. While they were getting out on the platform, a police official came to help Sherlock with his carry-on and computer bag. Leaving his contact to deal with the luggage, he turns towards John and extend his hands.

“It was nice meeting you again John… Sorry again about all that and I wish you a somewhat good time in Paris with your old army friend.”

Still holding his hand, John replies “It’s ok… I think. I will have a discussion with her at my return.” He finally let go and promptly adds before he loses courage “Maybe you could contact me for a drink or something when you return from Paris… I will inform you of the development in the ‘Sarahgate’” He smiles, not wanting to look too devastated or too serious.

“I’m sorry John, I don’t do friends.” Then he leaves with the policeman. 

 _It was a_ _stupid move… I am so screwed on all fronts, it’s horrible._  

As he was taking his bag to exit the station, a cheerful voice rings in his ear. « John! » It was Irene. 

"How did it go? You must tell me everything!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhhhh Irene Adler ;-)


	3. A year ago...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6 months later, John and Sherlock met again. Is it possible for them to be... friends?

“Sherlock, that was heartless.” Lestrade was looking at the detective in amazement. “You can’t just say things like that…” Molly was leaving the lab, hiding her tears.

“Isn’t it better that she knows where she stands? Her new boyfriend… wants a boyfriend! I was being kind!” _All this is far too complicated._

“No, not kind... No wonder you’re alone.”  Sherlock flinches at Lestrade comment. “Sorry mate, but you don’t have anyone in your life… So you’re not the best person to give advice on love!”

Sherlock entire focus was on the experiment in front of him. _This is the reality, this is what I am._ _This is stupid... All these sentiments…_ As usual he reacts by being too honest and brutal. “At least, I’m not the laughingstock of NSY because my wife is sleeping with half of my friends!”

Lestrade absorbs the blow and just says, “That's low, Sherlock, even coming from you…” Then he left the lab, leaving Sherlock alone.

 

In a pub, few kilometres away, John and Mike were having a not so good time…

“No! Really? That's so sad, mate!” Mike was looking perfectly sympatheticl while he was thinking, _Thank God, that woman was a shrew!’_ He calls for two more pints and asks, “when did this happen?”

“Yesterday, Alice simply told me that she doesn’t want to be with me anymore! That our lives were boring… I’m a bloody doctor not an actor or a millionaire for God sakes!”

“That’s bad… And she already packed her things?”

“Yes, it wasn’t a lot…” They hadn’t really started to really live together, so she gathered the few items of clothing, two or three books and her cosmetics pretty quickly. The doctor sighs sadly, looking at Mike he add. “She left a few magazines and a coat, can I burn them in your fireplace?”

Mike smiles “Nope!”

As his friend pops the ‘p’ the image of Sherlock flashes in his head. The way he pronounced ‘nope’ with that same popping of the ‘p’…  Holding his beer like a life-jacket he mutters to himself “And even he does not want to be my friend,” He swallows a big gulp,  “I am boring and nobody will never have any interest in me…”

“What are you babbling about. I am your friend so you’re not totally alone… You’re drunk, don’t you.”

“Yes, just a bit, ok.. more than a bit… but it’s ok, ‘got the right to. And she’s now dating a successful lawyer instead of an ordinary GP.”

Mike swiftly removes the beer from John's grasp. “How do you know that, about the lawyer?”

“I followed her… I’m pathetic.” _But I will make a good PI... or detective!_

“You know infidelity is not automatically the end of a relationship… Maybe she still loves you.” _The thing one must say to cheer up a friend!_

“No… That's the worst… I asked her if she still loved me and you know what she said?”

“No idea…”

“That she didn’t know if she ever loved me!” John nurses his beer for few minutes. “I’ve lost five months… that's horrible when you think about it.”

“Five months of what?”

“Of happiness with the real person for me…” _And I already lost months on Sarah, I really need help!_

 

 

A month later, Sherlock was once more alone with Lestrade in a NSY meeting room.  The man was fretting, having something to ask but not knowing how to…

“Come on, ask.” Sherlock was trying to concentrate on the files without success “I won’t be able to work until you spit it out!”

Greg grabs a chair near the detective. “So … I saw my wife credit card bill and…”

“Lestrade! Have you been snooping in your wife's purse?” Sherlock smiles as Greg's cheeks redden with embarrassment!

“I didn’t… It was just… there!” Adding almost silently “…in her handbag.”

“So… the bill just jumps into your hands. That’s most unusual.”

“Sherlock! The HOW is not important! She spent 250 pounds in a lingerie’s shop! 250 pounds! Do you think she’s cheating on me again?”

“Yes, she is.” Sherlock replies calmly. “Hand me the photos at your right.”  

 

 Later that day, Sherlock was in Bart’s library, trying to find something on a weird symptom for a case. Molly, still a trooper and unable to stay mad at him more than a day, was working with him. 

“Sherlock!” She murmurs over her book. “Someone is looking at you from the ‘head trauma’ section!”

Rising his head, the detective chuckle “Oh… it’s John... You’d like him he’s into 'relationships.' ”

“Sherlock!” She laughs, thinking on how silly she was now that her short relationship with Jim was behind her “Don’t say things like that! He’s looking at you discreetly but… intensely.”

“It’s no one. Doctor John Watson... and he's with someone so no reason to put more lipstick Molly...” Sherlock was trying to stay relax, but the knowledge that John was currently watching him was… unsettling. 

“He’s handsome, don’t you think?” Molly's gaze was traveling from one man to the other as discreetly as possible. _Never seen Sherlock troubled by someone like this… Is he… sitting taller? Oh, this is funny, can’t wait to talk to Greg! “_ How do you know he is with someone?”

“Last time I saw him he was with a woman that was cheating… If he finally decided to end  it with that woman, I’m pretty certain that he didn’t stay alone for long. The man is an incurable romantic and a good catch for any sane woman.”

“You say that as if it were a fault!” Molly was now looking at Sherlock with affection.

Sherlock changes book, not wanting to give too much attention to what Molly was saying “Anyway, I don’t think that the man wants to talk to me anymore so don’t count on me for an introduction…” As he was opening the book, a voice resonated in the small library.

“Sherlock Holmes!”

Pausing from his research, the detective turns to watch John. “Oh... Hello Doctor Watson." He quickly points Molly.  "This is Doctor Molly Hopper, she’s a pathologist. Here, at Bart’s. In this hospital.” _Why I am babbling like a moron!_

“Good afternoon, Doctor Hopper.” John extends his hand to the woman.

“You can call me Molly, Doctor Watson.” 

“John, then!” They were rapidly laughing and exchanging anecdotes about professors they both had at uni. Molly was watching her friend as she was talking to the doctor… Sherlock wasn’t showing anything but she could tell that he was really, really annoyed...

 “John, are you still with your cheating girlfriend?” He suddenly asks without any tact. 

Molly quickly slaps his arm. “SHERLOCK!”

“No, it’s ok… No, I’m not. You were right of course… I confronted her when I return from Paris and… That’s the end of the story.”

“Oh… that's too bad!” Molly was thinking of her own experience with a cheating partner. _Not cool...the woman was clearly an idiot._

Sherlock, not letting it go, asks, “Any new girlfriends?” He quickly observed John but wasn’t able to find anything about a serious relationship… _Strange._

“After Sarah? Yes… But she left me few weeks ago. I thing I’m going to take my time now and wait for the best person for me.” He was relaxed, not letting show any discomfort or pain.

“Ummm, better, yes…" Sherlock says curtly "Anyway, we’ve got plenty to do and…” but at the same time John suddenly asks,

“Do you want to go for a coffee?”

“Yes, he wants!” Molly took the book from Sherlock hands. “Go take a break! I will be there when you return and…”

“But…” Sherlock was looking quite lost suddenly, _poor thing!_ “I can’t, I’ve…”

“Go! I’ll text you if I find something.” Molly nearly pushes him out of the library. _God! That man!!_

 

They finally end up in the hospital cafeteria as Sherlock didn’t want to leave the building.

“It’s really strange you know, I really thought she was the one for me!” John was staring at his coffee “We wanted the same thing, we had a similar upbringing, we both had fulfilling careers… then suddenly she told me that I wasn’t enough. That I was too ordinary, that she wanted excitement and glamour!” The doctor wasn’t bitter now that a little time had passed. “I should bring you when I’ve got a date, your opinion is probably sharper than mine!” He laughs.

“Maybe… But you will probably end up a bachelor like me. It’s not always good to be able to read everyone.” Sherlock voice was melancholic, almost gloomy as he was murmuring “Seeing the secret goal, knowing how many people the person has touched in the last day… Being able to read everything in the eyes, the pulse, the breath…”

“It’s true… it must be horrible. I understand why you don’t want to be in a relationship.” John took a few sips of his coffee before going on “I’ve got a friend that have the same problem… She’s a kind of counsellor or something like that she never explained really in fact. But she told me something like that, that she saw behind the mask, the secret desire, the secret shame… That it’s horrible in a way because she found it difficult to give her trust to someone.”

“But she places her trust in you…” Sherlock smiles “Have you been friends for long?”

“Not long… In fact, I met her when we were in Paris, she was on our train!”

“Oh… this is a… nice coincidence.” _And what do we say about coincidences..._ The detective was now frowning, trying to remember the people on board of the train. But he was only remembering John. Only John. _How annoying!!_

“The woman that was with you in the library… is she your friend?” John inquires matter of factly, not wanting to put too much in it .“The woman you talked to me about when we drove back from Scotland?”

 _He remembers that? Why?_ “Yes… But it’s all sorted now. She’s no longer in love with me… She finally realized that I wasn’t good for that… for her.”

“You know, I think that for the right person you would be a wonderful boyfriend.”

“What!?” Sherlock chokes on his tea. “Don’t say things like that!”

“You know, that first time in the car I thought that you were a pompous git! Full of yourself…” _I also thought that you were sexy as hell, but it’s not the same thing…_ “I really didn’t like you that much.”

“Me neither… you were maddeningly noisy with an unnatural single focus on your snacks.” Sherlock lips were now spread in a luminous smile.

The doctor laughs merrily… “You were too thin! You are still too thin! God… Are you eating at least once a day!”

“Yes ,I am, don’t worry, doctor.”

“The second time, it's was better. You spoke to me like I was a real human and not an experiment or a nuisance… You were… softer.”

Sherlock rolls his eyes theatrically “Softer? Is this a complement? Seems like an insult to me…”

“Ok then… Let say softer beside the fact that you single-handy caused the separation of my girlfriend and me then?”

“Your cheating-girlfriend… It was a kind gesture!” The detective protested.

“Kind… Another word for soft.” John smirks, loving every moment of the conversation. The comfortable moment of silence was suddenly broken by Sherlock phone.

“It’s Molly, she found something. Got to go!” He rises, extending his hand to John “Nice meeting you again, John, hope to see you at another time…” Without thinking he adds “Maybe for dinner?”

“Ohhh, I thought that you weren’t ‘doing friends’” John was ecstatic!

“Yeah I know… It’s my ‘softer’ side probably…” Sherlock turns to go back to the library, nearly running out of the cafeteria.

A few minutes later, John’s phone pinged.

> Here’s my phone number. SH

 As he was saving the number in his address book, John thought _I’m voluntarily becoming friends with someone that I’m attracted to... that’s a first._


	4. Few months ago...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friendship...

A week or so after that meeting in the library, John asked Sherlock out for lunch… Surprisingly for both of them, the lunch went well! A few days later the detective called the doctor for a professional opinion on a case and so on.

They had been meeting once a week and texting nearly every day since then and to everyone's amazement, especially their own, quickly became really good friends.

It was a first for Sherlock, who wasn’t used to having someone who cared about his stories, who's willing to talk about anything without being judgemental but confident enough to be able to put him in his place when needed and not feeling threatened by his abilities. John's presence on crime scenes was welcomed by Lestrade’s team as he was able to calm and restrain the detective. Nicknamed the ‘Detective Whisperer’ by some, he was now trying to be present as often as possible.

John was also satisfied with this new friendship and Sherlock was rapidly on the verge of being his best friend… It was unsettling for the doctor, as he was still attracted to Sherlock, but for the sake of his friendship he was pushing that as far away as possible. He knows that Sherlock knows that he finds him attractive, his comment that they won’t be able to be friends at their first meeting indicated just that, but the detective never said anything and kept their relationship on a friendly basis.  

A constant companionship.

*

Sherlock? JW

What? SH

 Are you asleep? JW

Don’t ask stupid questions, John. SH

;-) Sorry… I'll rephrase. Did I wake you? JW

No, I was watching tv. Waiting for an experiment to conclude. SH

What’s on? JW

A movie of some sort. SH

Channel? JW 

BBC2. SH

Oh! Casablanca! JW

Never heard of it. SH

A classic movie… Your cultural knowledge is _truly_ abysmal you know. JW

It’s late for you, past 2 in the morning… Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, sleeping? SH

I can’t. Don’t know why. I’m feeling lonely, that’s all. JW

Don’t be stupid. You’re not lonely, I’m talking to you right now. SH

Not the same. Sometimes I forget how far you are from us mere humans. JW

Explain, I don’t understand. SH

I’m missing the idea of having someone in my life…  Or I’m going to be sick. JW

Sick? Are you drunk? SH

Yes, a little bit. Little tiny bit. JW 

Oh! Look, it’s the end of the movie! That last scene was really something! JW

Ingrid Bergman, what a woman… Got the feeling that she’s low maintenance and she won’t leave you because of a rich lawyer. JW

Low maintenance? A human is not a car you know. SH

It’s an expression you daft git. It means that someone is easy to satisfy, not too demanding. JW

Oh, like me you mean. SH

LOL. You’re joking, right? You are the most high maintenance person that I know! And we are just friends. I wouldn’t endure half of your quirks from a mere date! JW

Are we? SH

What? JW

Friends. SH

Friend? The best. Yes… No? JW

Oh, yes… if you want to. And I am not high maintenance! SH

I’ll point it out to you next time it happens, promise. JW

That last line, "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." It’s like the best last line of a movie E-VER! JW

The timer just blipped, go to go watch how the cells are doing in the petri dish. Good night. SH

And bring milk tomorrow. SH

Please. SH

HIGH MAINTENANCE LOL JW

I said please… SH

Goodnight, Sherlock. See you tomorrow JW

 

*

 

The next morning, John, of course, went by Baker Street to put milk in the fridge. _Not that I am his housekeeper, isn’t it what friends do for each other?_ John tags along on a case. They walked to Regent Park where a man was found by joggers an hour ago, passing time discussing silly things as they had no data yet.

“I don’t understand how dreams work. I told you about my Afghanistan nightmares, I’ve had less of them recently… Thank God; they were horrible! But from time to time I’ve had the silliest dream!” John turns towards his friend to be certain that he had his attention. “It’s the Olympic…”

“Don’t tell me you are our national boxing champion?” Sherlock interrupts with a smirk.

“Funny… make fun of my height! It’s not that I am small it's that you are tall and so damn thin! So… pay attention for a moment! So, it’s the Olympic and I’m making love with a faceless woman. The judges are watching, it’s the final! I’ve got 9.8 from the Canadian judge, 8 from the American but the German judge gave me 3! And suddenly I realized that it’s Sarah-the-cheater in disguise!” He turns toward Sherlock. “What do you think of that, genius?

“Don’t know… I’m not a psychologist.” _But, John is clearly not over his relationship with Sarah and her opinion is still important. He saw that whole relationship as a personal failure…_

“Do you ever have dreams? You sleep so little…” John was sincerely curious, the sleep pattern of his friend so all over the place, it’s hard to imagine him dreaming!

“Yes of course, I am not a machine…” Sherlock plays offended then smirks “But… nothing so fancy. It’s basically the same one since I was a teenager.”

Wanting to know more about the mystery of the man known as Sherlock Holmes, John pushes him “Go on, what is it?”

“It’s kind of embarrassing…”

“I’ve told you that my cheating ex-girlfriend flunked me in a sex competition. I don't think you can top that!”

“Ok… ok…. There’s a guy.” 

“A guy. Oh. Great!” _Did I just say that out loud…_ “Hum… Ok, describe him, give me something!”

“Don’t know, I have never seen his face….” Sherlock was walking slower, clearly lost in his thoughts.

“Ok… Faceless. Creepy. Then what?” _Is it good, a creepy guy?_

“He rips off my shirt.” The detective was holding his coat closer, as if thinking about the dream was making him shiver.

“Ok….” _I want to be that guy!_ _But without the creepiness!_ “And… after?”

“Nothing… I usually wake up.” Sherlock was replaying the dream over and over in his head, still perplexed.

“I can’t believe, this is your big dream! An unknown man ruins your shirt.” _Oh God, I can’t believe the man!_

“It’s always a beautiful, expensive shirt!” Sherlock protests. “And sometimes he destroys my jacket.” John starts laughing without being able to stop. Sherlock was looking so offended by the possibility of someone ruining his clothes. _Who knows, maybe with the right person he will find it more appealing…_

The crime scene was only meters away when John, on the spur of the moment, asks Sherlock. “Do you want to go to a play tonight? I’ve bought 2 tickets for a tombola at work…”

They stop.

“Oh… Sorry but not tonight I think… I think I have a date.”

 _What!_ With an level tone, John asks doubtfully, “really? A date-date?”

“Yeah, I think…” The detective was clearly uneasy.

“How can you not know if it’s a date or not? Who asked who out?” _Everything is always complicated with him!_ “And why am I just learning about this now? All those opportunities for teasing that I’ve missed, it’s unfair!” _Yes. Jokes. Jokes are good._

“It's a set up…” Sherlock mutters.

“What! It’s a bloody blind date! YOU!” John was suddenly relieved that it was only a blind date and not that Sherlock had asked someone to go out… _This is so unreal._ “And you know about this date for how long…”

“A week, but… it felt strange to talk about this with you.” The detective was clearly flustered and looked eagerly in the direction of the crime scene. “Greg is waving for us to come over, we better go.”

“No, give me a minute…” John puts a hand on his friend's arm. “Why do you think it was strange to talk to me about this. I am your friend… You can tell me anything.”

“We have known each other for many months and I have never talked to you about a date or something like that… When you clearly have had a lot of experience. I didn’t want you to think… that… that I am… that I haven't...”

Putting his feelings aside, John looked at his friend with affection. “Sherlock, I think it’s wonderful that you’ve got a date. And I hope that you have a great time with… whomever is it!” Smiling, he will give anything to remove that uncertainty in his friend’s eyes “You should put that purple shirt of yours, it looks really nice… on you.”

“It does?” _Is it something that a guy friend can say to another guy?_

“And who’s the lucky winner?”

 Sherlock flutters a hand as if the person wasn’t important. “Just the son of a friend of my mom. I said yes just to shut her up! She’s so annoying!”

“A… a man. Then you’re… gay.” He was fairly sure before, but to hear Sherlock stating it like that was… John doesn’t know. _It’s great that I am attracted to a man that loves men… but I think I would prefer that he didn’t love anyone if not me. Am I a bad person for that?_  

“Yes. Of course, I’m gay…” He pauses. “Is it problematic for you?”

“No, no… it’s great. I mean, I don’t care. No… I do care, I want your happiness, just that it doesn’t matter with whom.” _I am so stupid!_ “It’s just that you never said it that… clearly.”

“Oh… didn’t think it was important. And you?”

“What? Me… I… I”

To help the poor man, Sherlock asks more specifically “Do you have any dates planned, it’s been a long time since Alice.”

“Oh, no I’m not ready yet… It’s complicated.” _I am in love with someone else, it’s kind of a deal breaker with any woman._  

“Yes…” Sherlock finally waves back at Lestrade and start walking. “It’s complicated…”

 

A few days later, John opens the door of Sherlock’s flat to be welcomed by an angry detective. He motions John to close the door and mutters a silent ‘Sorry… Won’t be long’.

As usual, John went to the kitchen and plugs in the kettle. _When did tea become my full-time duty when I’m here?_ He looks at Sherlock who was on the receiving end of what’s looking like arduous phone call. 

“Mommy! I’ve tried, it’s not my fault if the man is a complete moron!!” 

 _Oh, it’s about that,_ John though _, that went 'that' well. It's not that I am happy that it's didn't went well... But!_

“I was so uncomfortable! You have no idea! I do like a good compliment, but the man was showing me off like I was a bloody star!”

 _That’s not good!_ He knows that Sherlock likes to get attention but not that kind of attention…

“Sorry, sorry, I know you don’t like it when we swear mommy, but I’m not twelve anymore and this was really a BLOODY disaster!”

John laughs loudly, thinking about a female older version of Sherlock. _She must be fearless, with sons like hers._

“No… it’s no one. Just my friend.” Sherlock rolls his eyes, looking at an apologizing John… “NO! Stop right now, you have to stop matchmaking, Mummy!” He rises and walks away, as far from John as possible,

The doctor wasn’t laughing anymore, he was looking at the steeping tea. Wishing to be elsewhere. Sherlock makes a beeline to his bedroom, still trying to calm his arguing mother.

“I will never give you grand-children anyway!... So what’s the point…?” The last thing the blond heard before the door close was a not so convincing “My happiness! Don’t be so sentimental Mummy, I don’t need happiness!”

Something in John's broke. Just like that, two cups of tea turned cold in his hands.


	5. Few months ago... but few days later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock talks about his disastrous blind date and shakes John to the ground. Voluntarily or not?

A few days later, Molly and Sherlock were in the lab testing evidence for a case. The pathologist, who knows about the ‘date’ wasn’t able to restrain her curiosity!

“Sherlock…” she asks suddenly, “how was your date?”

“I knew you were going to bring it up!” The detective sighs, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to escape his nosy friend. _Is it what we are, friends? God, how come I have three of those now?_

“Come on! Give me something… And I will tell you about a date that I had last weekend. Yours cannot be more miserable than mine!”

“Ok… ok… To sum up the situation, let say that he was more enthralled by the idea of going out with someone who has been in the news than the real me…” Sherlock was still troubled by the idea of someone wanting a relationship with him because he was a minor celebrity. _It was already hard to deal with the memory of those guys in uni who wanted to bed me only because of my looks and not wanting to know me… or even worse only as a dare. Now that… It’s definitively easier to stay alone._

“He didn’t find you attractive? It’s impossible… come on.” She extends a hand in front of Sherlock as if to say, ‘Look at that body!’

“Oh… he found me attractive enough and was willing to show to everyone that I wasn’t as cold and frigid as the tabloids depict me.” Mutters Sherlock.  _It was so horrible…_  

“That man was utterly disgusting then! Mine was horrible also. I told him a joke – a really good one! – and he didn’t laugh at all! Then I tried small talk, explaining my job you know that kind of stuff… He found it disgusting! And he wasn’t able to stop looking at my hands, as if I was eating human flesh with a scalpel!”

“Yeah, but he didn’t try to take selfies discreetly all night long to put them on Instagram or what ever…” Sherlock challenges her with a crooked smile.

“Maybe, but mine took a hair from my head and started flossing… At the table in front of me.” She fakes puking. “I win!”

Sherlock was now laughing with all his heart. “You’re right… you win! Next time I will check them for you beforehand if you want!”

“Good idea… And I will check yours!” She rises that took her samples to put them away in the fridge. 

_I will never go on another date… It's way easier!_

  

That night, John and Mike were playing pool in a small pub. After a few pints Mike, who lives an easy happy life with his wife and kids, was arguing with John’s.

“But… I don’t understand!” Mike was looking at John who was doing a good job of cleaning the table. “Irene, she’s really a beautiful woman!”

“Yes, and?” The doctor's attention was on the game, but he realizes quickly were his friend was heading.

“She’s single, you’re single, she’s attractive… Why did you never flirt with her?” Mike pauses his pints after a long sip. “I don’t understand!”

“What?”

“You enjoy being with her… You find her attractive… And you’re not having sex with her?” Thinking at John history with woman, it was un-heard of!

 Still cleaning the table, John frowns. “You should be proud of me! This is new for me, I am not usually into a relationship with a woman if a bed is not involved!” _It helps that I am attracted to someone else..._

 “It’s not that… You’re afraid!” Mike face was illuminated by his Eureka moment!

“Afraid? What are you talking about…” 

“Afraid of being happy! Ha!”

“No, don't say that. It’s good to have a female perspective on things. In fact… Irene helped me to get into another pair of pants so…” As soon as the words left his mouth, John first though was _Shit. Shit. Shit._ And he pockets the 8 because of a tremor in his hand.

“HA! You lost! You’re paying the next one! ” John was lucky that, in the excitement, Mike didn’t question John’s last comment.

 

Sherlock and John didn’t see each other for few weeks much to the detective's relief. He didn’t want to talk to John about his bad date and each passing day was putting the experience further away. One evening, they were sitting in 221b after an exhausting case. As they wait for their order to arrive, Sherlock was glaring at his ‘case wall’ where dozens of documents and photos of a new case were already waiting for his attention.

“What’s all that? A new case?” John asks, always curious about his friend's job.

“Oh… that’s a weird one that came up today.” He points the woman in the middle of the collage. “That cunning woman was married and the mistress of two politicians.” He walks away from the wall to get a better perspective.

“And they were happy to share her… People are weird!” _How come you can love someone and accept that…_

“Not so happy as someone killed her this afternoon…” He was joyful as if the case was a special gift just for him. “The husbands, the wives of both politicians… And the husbands have mistresses also so… The possibilities are quite endless.” He shakes his head at human stupidity. “Not counting one night stands… It’s going to be a complicated one.” Sherlock was patting his lips with his fingers while thinking and John was unable to took away. “John? I need more data about one night stands!“ 

The doctor jumps slightly from his chair, _Sherlock wants to talk about… what?_ “Hum… What?” _And did I heard it right, husbands?_

“Don’t be shy, you haven’t been nicknamed Three Continents Watson for nothing. When you sleep with a woman that you pick up in a pub or anywhere, do you just leave in the morning? As quickly as possible? Do you often ask for a second date with those women?”

“Oh… I… no. It’s usually pretty clear that it was for one night of mutual satisfaction that’s all.” _I can’t believe I’m talking about this with Sherlock!_

The tall man was trying to compute the new info in his schema. “Hum… that's kind of disgusting but as long as you're both satisfied.” Sherlock mimed air quotes on the word satisfied.

“I know it’s not perfect but sometimes people ( _normal people_ ) need human contact and as long as both parties are willing and yes, satisfied, what’s the problem?” He sits taller in his chair and wasn’t able to stop and add “I never heard any complaint and I am well liked!”

With a curious tone, Sherlock asks, “How could you know? All the men involved with _that_ woman claimed that all this was consensual and that she always had a great time. But, really, how could you know?”

“What?”  _No, no, no... I'm not talking about sex with him!_

“How could you know that you are generally ‘well liked’? Do they give you little evaluation card? Have you created a rating chart or something?” Sherlock's voice was professional and serious but a little smirk appears on his lips.

 _Are you fucking kidding me!_ “No… I just, you know… KNOW!”

“But they can fake it… If even men can fake it, I presume it’s even less complicated for women. So, this is a legitimate inquiry, how could you know? Especially with one night stand or with a woman who has a chain of powerful lovers.” He then carefully proceeds to place a red string between the woman and all the men in her life, not even looking at John’s reaction to his question.

“You want to talk about sex… You didn’t want to talk about your lousy date but you want to talk about sex.” John was flabbergasted. 

“Not about sex, about the real possibility that women that you sleep with are faking it.” He sips his coffee “The… emotional aspect of that case is giving me trouble. Who killed her? One of the lovers because she cheats with one of the husbands?”

“She cheats with … husbands.” John frowned, putting emphasis on the plural.

“Yes. Long story. So, how is it possible to know for sure if it’s genuine? If she wasn’t faking it just to have a grip on those men?”

“You… just know it!” The doctor finally starts, looking at his shoes. “And anyway, I know if someone is faking it.”  _Especially men… come on!_ “And it’s IMPOSSIBLE for a man to fake it…” 

Sherlock suddenly turns on his heel to look at his friend. “You call yourself a doctor? Come on John… Getting it up enough is only mechanical, then a little spasm, some rolls of the eyes and toes curling, few well-rehearsed moans and dirty words, removing the condom quickly enough. Easy-peasy.” He puts down his roll of twine, satisfied with his handiwork and drops in his chair. _Where is that delivery man, he’s three minutes late…_

John was looking at his friend gobsmacked! “But… but… no! It’s more!” As Sherlock rises an eyebrow with a little snigger. “Yes! It’s the feeling to be overwhelmed, to become one, to let everything that isn’t the now and then fade away…”

“You realize that all those are sentiments and not a physical proof that someone is faking or not.”  _Ok, I’m getting bored now… For a serial lover, he knows nothing._  “It’s ok John, let it go.”

“NO! I’ll know if my partner is faking it!”

With a smile, Sherlock reclines back comfortably on the black leather and looks at John with hooded eyes.  _What… What is he doing._

Then it starts, a first whimper… slow, nearly inaudible, his lips slightly open, a simple flutter of the eyes. Not letting John out of his gaze, Sherlock leans his head on the back on the chair, rising his chin to show the perfection of his marble neck while emitting a gentle groan.  _Oh God… that’s hot!_  A familiar tightness was indubitably building in John's jeans as he was enjoying the show. His mouth drops as the tall man places a hand at the edge of one of the armrest, like if he was looking for support. His long, elegant fingers spread on leather, nearly caressing as he was arching his back. Soft whimpers were followed by deep moans… The detective's eyes now completely closed as he was panting, his pearly teeth biting his bottom lip. John was definitely losing control and few seconds away to put a hand in his pants.  _Oh God, this is good, no, no this is bad!_ It went on for many terribly too long or too short minutes...

After a last generous moan and few really well screamed ‘Yes, you’ve got it, more, fuck, again’ and a final ‘ Fuckkkk yessssss’ Sherlock rises, all business-like and bends down to talk calmly to a stunned John’s “Told you. Easy-peasy. You can go in the bathroom to take care of your…” He looks at John visible hard-on before walking to the door, “…not so little problem.”

 _Where is he going? Come back here! You! You bloody beautiful crazy man!_ The sound of the delivery man clearing his voice brings John back to reality.  _Shit, the delivery! I didn't realize the door was open!_

Gazing at the young man's desire and amazement as the detective pays for the food, John was suddenly jealous without being able to control it! _We will never place an order at this restaurant ever again!_ _Look away, he’s mine! Only mine!_ And he quickly left for the bathroom to take care of himself as soon as the man left _his_ Sherlock alone.


	6. 2 months ago....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock want to go to a date with John...

They were both at a party for Lestrade’s 20 years on the force and John was looking at Sherlock from a far. To say that things were still confusing for the man after the show Sherlock put on that night is an understatement.  _Like saying war is a good way to travel abroad!_

“You all right, mate?” A clearly drunk Greg falls on the stool beside John’s.  “Don’t look all gloomy like that! It’s my party!” He called another beer at the barman while following John gaze… “Ohhhhhh. That’s why you’re all miserable!”

“What? No!... You don’t know what you are talking about, you are clearly drunk. Anyway I am happy. 100% happy.” John quickly took his pint. “Look! I’m drinking! Cheers, mate!”

“You know... Seriously. If you want to talk...” He turns back his eyes on the corner of the room where Sherlock was arguing with Anderson and a unknown cop on the proper way to play dart. “Did you have an argument of some sort?”

“No, no…” He nurses his beer, not knowing what to say. “Did he… say something to you?” He asks, trying to look only remotely interested in the answer.

“No, but we’re talking about Sherlock here…” Greg chuckle, “Come on, life is too short! Do something!” As the evening was coming to an end, the music change for something slow and romantic. “Go ask the man to dance!”

“Are you fucking kidding me!” The doctor nearly spits out his beer!

“What!” Greg says with an innocent smile “He always loved to dance!” The images of a drunk Sherlock jumping around following techno rhythms, lost in the beat, spring in his head.

 _God! He’s married to his work! Anyway he’s too good for me…_ “We are not a couple!”

“Then go do something about it!” Lestrade winks and left the bar after a last friendly slap on his friend’s back. Looking to locate his friend on the crowd, he wasn’t with Anderson and the new guy anymore, John took out his phone.

 

> Where are you? JW
> 
> Detective Maxwell was a little bit too… friendly. It was easier to simply go outside. SH
> 
> You’re not smoking, are you? JW
> 
> No, no, Doctor Watson. Don’t worry. SH
> 
> I’m calling a taxi, fancy a ride home? SH

John was looking at his phone, not knowing what to do. _Was it an invitation or simple courtesy from a friend?_

 

> I think I’m gonna stay a little bit longer. JW
> 
> Okay, good night. SH
> 
> Talk to you tomorrow. Good night. JW

 

A few day later, Sherlock and Molly were in the lab while the pathologist was conducting an autopsy. 

"Molly, I think I didn’t hear you correctly…. You sent flowers to yourself? To make that man you found on Binder jealous?” The detective shakes his head, incredulous.

“Tinder. A really beautiful bouquet, it cost me more than 60 pounds!” Her eyes were slowly filling with tears.

Walking near her, Sherlock put an arm around her and pulls her away from the body. “Ok… Ok… He’s an asshole if he doesn’t recognize how brilliant and special you are.” He cleans Molly eyes. “Did it work at least?”

“No…” She starts crying in earnest! “He never came to my place… He’s never going to forget his ex-wife.”

“Of course, he will never… She’s an asshole and they go well together.” _Poor sweet Molly, always stuck up with morons…_ The vision of the trustworthy John, of his willingness to embrace all those ‘couple’ things pop in his mind. _She could make a good girlfriend for John._ He pushes away a ping of unwanted jealousy and asks out of the blue “Do you want to go to dinner with John and me Saturday?”

“With you and… John?” Molly quickly forget her little broken heart to smiles at Sherlock. “Don’t you think that three is a crowd?” _I don’t want to be the third wheel if they are finally going out together!_

“I’ll ask Lestrade to join us then…” _That way I will have someone to talk to change my mind of John flirting with Molly. Yes. I can do that for my friends._ “That’s a date then!”

 

Sherlock and John were walking on direction of a cosy Italian restaurant in Soho. It was a warm Saturday night. John was dressed really well, upgrading his usual ‘date outfit’ in an attempt to compete – if possible! – with the beautiful man at his side.  “It’s really great that you invited me tonight… It’s been a long time since we…” But he was interrupted by Sherlock.

“There they are!” Greg and Molly were walking toward the restaurant but from the other side of the street. John stops and quickly put a hand on Sherlock's forearm.

“I don’t understand?” John like Molly a lot and the DI was quickly becoming a good friend, but… _What are they doing here! We are on a date… yes?_                

“I know, sorry, I asked Lestrade if he could be there, too. This way it won’t be awkward when Molly and… you… forget that I am here! You know Molly, she was worried about that all ‘three is a crowd’ thing.” He laughs lightly, but with an artificial edge to it.

“What? Am I missing something?” The text Sherlock sent him yesterday was straight forward. _‘Do you want to go on a date with me Saturday? I talked to Molly and she thought it’s a brilliant idea!’ And I was supposed to understand that he was setting me up with his friend! God!! I am an idiot!_

“I don’t understand why it’s so weird that Lestrade is with us… better to be 4 than 3, no?” _Why does he make everything so difficult! I am doing this for him!_ He murmurs, as Greg and Molly were arriving near “Don’t tell me you changed your mind! You agreed to that!”

Between his tooth, the doctor replies “I agreed on a date…”

“Yeah! And that’s what it is… God you are hard to follow sometimes.” He shakes hands with Greg and nudges Molly gently in John's direction. “Molly, you know John.”

“Yes! I’m so happy to have the occasion to know you better, John!” The pathologist was beaming with joy! _Finally, Sherlock has someone in his life!_ After being in love with the man for years without any luck, she was happy to play the good sport!

Greg took John’s hand with warmth “Hi John, happy to see you in this occasion!”

“Ok, let’s go! Our table is waiting!” _Everything is going splendidly! It the best of both word! I won’t lose John as Molly is also my friend. This is brilliant!_ The nagging sensation in his heart was back, but it was for a good cause.

The wine was flowing but the conversation was… difficult. Molly and Greg, not wanting to be nosy about Sherlock and John, were discussing mainly together about strange cases and other things.  It was the first time they had the opportunity to really talk, and they realized they had more in common than just corpses! Molly was softly laughing at Greg’s flirting and everything was going fine for both of them!

Sherlock, was looking gloomily at the pair, trying to get John’s attention. But John was looking at his glass of wine, his mind elsewhere. A few minutes later, John rises, “Going to the loo, sorry…” and leaves the table. Greg, wanting to make sure that John was ok, excuses himself and follows.  As soon as the DI left the dining room, Molly turns to Sherlock with a big smile!

“Sherlock! I didn’t know he was so funny… Do you know his family comes from York? Mine also, isn’t it weird? Life sometimes…” Extending her hand over the table, she puts her fingers on Sherlock’s.  “Is everything all right? You look tense… Is it the first time you are out in a public place?”

“What are you talking about!” _What’s wrong with people! And John’s family comes from London’s suburb!_

“It’s ok you know… John is quite chic tonight!” She laughs again and murmurs for Sherlock hears only “Do you think I have a chance with Greg?”

“With who?” But Molly turns her shiny eyes in the direction of Greg and John who were coming back.

John sits at his place; his mind still focusses on the discussion he just had with Greg.

 

> “Do you think I have any chance with Molly? I've known the woman for, I don't even know how many years, but never realised how cute and funny and brainy-sexy she is!”  Greg babbles on as soon as they enter the washroom.
> 
>   
>  His thoughts still on Sherlock, John simply mumbles “Yeah… yes… She’s nice.”
> 
> “Is everything ok mate? I thought that it was a big night to finally reveal to us that you are together, but you look miserable…”
> 
> At that, John wasn’t able to keep inside a sad chuckle “You don’t know? It’s a set up for Molly and I…”
> 
> “Oh… sorry! I… I… didn’t know.” Greg was obviously lost for words. 
> 
> “It’s ok, Greg. I am not interested in Molly what so ever!” He corrects himself quickly, “I mean… she’s nice and all… But I’m in love with someone else.” _It’s good to say that out loud!_
> 
> “Sherlock?” The DI probes with sympathy. 
> 
> “Yes. Sherlock.”

 

He was suddenly brought back to the present when the waiter came to their table.

“Is everything all right here? Need anything? More wine…”

Greg swiftly asks for the bill; Sherlock – having enough of the evening! – paid for everyone using one of his brother's credit card, at John’s annoyance. Once out on the sidewalk, he pulls John near him, letting Greg and Molly lead the way. 

“What’s wrong with you tonight Unbelievable! Molly was there for you!” _I’ve made all this for nothing! Incredible!_ “She’s very sensitive right now, with all the rejection! And I’m afraid that she won’t react well to…”

“Sherlock.” John points at Greg and Molly that were currently laughing like teenagers. “She doesn’t need me, she likes Greg.” At his friend's frown, he adds. “GREG Lestrade, you know this is ridiculous, right?”

Suddenly, Molly turns back and walks quickly back to the detective. With a knowing look, as Greg filled her in a moment ago, she says nicely, “I know that you thought that John and I would be a perfect fit, but I think he’s better for someone else… Is it ok with you If Greg and I go out… just to see where it can take us?”

“Yes, of course.” A miserable Sherlock replies with an insincere smile. The woman places a small kiss on his cheek then runs back to Greg before they walk together to get a cab. _And what I’m supposed to do now?_

John, always there when everything is too much, raises his hand to call a cab. “Fancy a night cap at your place?” Nodding, his mind elsewhere, Sherlock jumps in the car and sits beside his friend.


	7. A month ago...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Sherlock at Selfridge... And a nice evening at Molly's (and Greg's) place.

 

“You have to find something, Sherlock!” They were in the middle of Selfridge, looking for a Christmas gift for Ms. Hudson. “She’s like a mother to you!”

“Mycroft is taking care of Mummy’s gift…” The detective complained.

“I won’t choose for you! Come on pick something, Christmas is in three weeks!” Passing the day in stores with his impatient friend isn’t the idea of a perfect Sunday!   _But it was nice to spend time together without any awkwardness I must admit…_

Even with the fiasco of the ‘date’ long behind them, John hadn't found the way to talk to his friend about his feelings, yet. When they left the restaurant, leaving the two lovebirds behind, his goal was clear! To stop all this nonsense and to declare his love for Sherlock! But… The look of sadness in his eyes when he talked about how sorry he was that the evening didn’t go as he planned, the clueless look he gave him, thinking that he was moaning over that poor Molly. __How come someone so intelligent and perspicacious can be so oblivious!__ Later that night, they simply fall in an alcohol induced sleep, each in their respective chairs. Both silent, not knowing what to say but thinking similar thoughts about the other's idiocy! In the morning, Sherlock didn’t want to talk about that ‘dreaded evening’ and simply ran off for a case, leaving John alone in his flat.

Still wandering in the store, they entered the kitchen ware area. “Maybe a new tea pot… or a Creuset casserole?” Sherlock asks, hopeful.

“So she could make food for you, I don’t think so!” John laughs. “Not a fucking chance!”

Sulking, the detective spreads his arms theatrically, “There’s nothing here, John!”

 

 

A clerk that was walking near them stops and smile. “I’m certain that we can found something sir. Do you need any help?”  The man was looking at Sherlock appreciatively, without accounting for John's presence.

Sherlock, not conscious as usual of his effect on people, puts on a fake smile. “Looking for a gift for an old lady.”

“We can surely find something! What is your relationship with her? Mother, a grand-mother, mother-in-law…”   

At this blatant attempt to flirt, John rolls his eyes a bit put off that once again someone was trying to seduce his friend not thinking that they are a couple.  _Am I so ordinary?_ He sharply states “It’s our seventy-ish landlady, she’s like family to us.”  _Ok, I don't technically live at 221b but… That should put that man enthusiasm at bay for a moment._

Backing off a bit, the man smiles at John, acknowledging the proprietary glance that the doctor was giving to Sherlock. “Ok… So something personal but still practical. A little folly… We’ve got wonderful shawls in cashmere… Let me see!” 

The man walks quickly in the direction of women's clothing when Sherlock, who wasn’t listening at all of course, says strongly. “Found it. Don’t need you.” He pauses, looking at a frowning John. “Hmmm… thanks for your time?” The clerk left them with a glare, no longer interested in the tall man. 

 

“What do you want to gives her?” John asks, back to his normal self now that the young pretty boy was gone.  He was trying to figure out what Sherlock's idea was, when someone calls his name. It was Sara. _Shit._ “Hey. Hello.” She walks quickly over to them, kissing the doctor cheeks as if they were friends. She was looking at Sherlock in awe.. The cases were more and more in the media and the detective's tall frame was easily recognizable, especially when compared to John's blond hair and more compact form.

“You must be Sherlock! I’m Sara, John’s friend.” 

Sherlock, in full deduction mode, sneers at this affirmation as John’s non-verbal was screaming ‘friend, my ass!’ “Oh… I know who you are! You are the ex-girlfriend!” _Poor Sara_ , John was thinking _, she does not deserve what’s coming… Okay… Yeah. She deserves it!_ Sherlock smiles, one of his deadliest weapons. “I’ve heard loads about you… But in my head I always think about you as _I-prefer-adventure-and-I-cheated-on-you-and-break-your-heart-Sara_ or more precisely as _I-am-an-opportunist-whore-and-I-don’t-deserve-a-good-man-like-John-Sara_ …” He puts a finger on his lips, faking concentration, “I don’t know which one I prefer…” He scrutinizes the woman from top to bottom. “I can see that you have changed boyfriends six times since you _fortunately_ left Doctor Watson… Oh! You lost your job recently… So sad…Especially now that you are pregnant.” He smirks while looking at Sara's new boyfriend who was behind her, not knowing what to say “But this is fortunate that your newest acquisition is quite rich.” The man was clearly panicking, looking at Sara's stomach, clearly he wasn't aware of the pregnancy. “And you sir, my deepest felicitation! Not a lot of man in your position are willing to take care of a baby that isn’t his!” He extends his hand and the probably soon-to-be ex-boyfriend shakes it mechanically.  “Come on John, the shop is closing in few minutes and we still have shopping to do!”

They turn away from the now arguing couple and John follows Sherlock until they reach the linen department. Leaving his still silent friend in the aisle, the detective strides purposefully until he locates what he needs. _Perfect!_   “I’m ready.” He was now holding a big bag. “Do you want to go for a bite, I didn’t eat today and… John, everything ok?”

“Yeah… It’s was just weird.  She looked weird don’t you think?” A _nd that way Sherlock just destroyed her to protect me that was..._

 

“She was looking fifteen weeks pregnant!” Sherlock chuckles. “I don’t know about her general appearance, never seen the woman before.” He puts a hand on John arm, “Are you ok? You know that it’s normal to bump into someone from your past…” As usual when he was flustered he finds answers in data. “… In fact, an adult usually knows around ten people really well, one hundred so called friends and extended family and another hundred or so acquaintances at work or other places… So it’s bound to happen even if in the 2016 census, London's population was…”

“Shut up, Sherlock.” But he had reached his goal as John was smiling. “I’m ok… that was just… weird.” He looks at the big bag his friend was still holding. “What did you get? Not a pasta maker or something like that I hope.”

“No, don’t be silly. I won’t insult Angelo by eating fresh pasta at home! This is an electrical blanket.” As John was astonished by the apparently random and out of the blue choice, doubt started to rise in Sherlock's eyes.

“I’m certain that’s perfect…” John was reading the details on the top-of-the-range blanket, complete with a meter, remote and all the security possible. It was really expensive! “But why?”

“Oh… I thought that as she always complaining that it’s humid… and that her hips are always worse in winter… But… I didn’t… John? You’re a doctor? Do you think it’s good for her or this is a silly idea?” Sherlock was looking at his friend expectantly.

“It’s perfect, and it’s a really nice gift… And it is my professional opinion that it can only help to have a better night and less pains in the morning.” The younger man expression calmed, his worried now gone. “Let’s go home, Chinese take-out on our way at that little place near Baker Street?”

Not talking about the use of the term ‘home’ to talk about _his_ flat, Sherlock nods and follow his friend. _Home… I want John to be at home in 221b…_

 

While Sherlock and John were still far from being a couple, Greg was nearly living with Molly now! It took only a few weeks before his DVD collection, personal grooming items, and work clothes found their way in Molly little world.  It was still weird for Sherlock, but he was finally honestly happy for his friends. To celebrate their new relationship, Molly and Greg were receiving Sherlock and John for wine and cheese. 

John was in the kitchen, opening the first bottle, as the detective was trying to gear himself to be as comfortable as possible with the possible PDA. But it was not a problem for the moment… as the new couple was currently arguing. 

_ Love is complicated… I don’t know how people stand it. _ Sherlock repeats to himself.

“I like to have it near when I’m watching football!” Greg tone was clearly exasperated!

Pointing her modern yet feminine décor, Molly replies with a little laugh “But’s it’s just too red and too big. It fits with nothing!”

“But I like it, it’s my team! I’ve won it in a pub few years ago!”

“Ok, then! We’ll ask John and Sherlock!”

Greg, taking the detective by the shoulder, brings him near the subject of the discussion “Sherlock! Don’t you think that banner is classy!” He was pointing at the vintage looking Arsenal banner that was spread on the coffee table.

“This is gold… and red… and with a cannon… I… I… Jooooohn?” Sherlock calls for his friend, not knowing what to say. “I didn’t think you were into military Gavin.”

“It’s Greg, you git. And it’s Arsenal!! How can you call yourself a Londoner if you are not an Arsenal fan!”

“It’s football, Sherlock.” John says, giving a wine glass to his clueless friend. “What’s the problem?”

“Molly doesn’t want it in _her_ living room!” 

“Don’t say that like that! I want it to be _our_ living!” and the argument starts again…

Looking at his friends arguing brought an unexpected pain to the doctor… The feeling that being a couple, being in love, is all that. Having friends over, arguing over silly things, wanting to put your foot down but happy to let go to make the other one happier. His eyes flew over to Sherlock, who was drinking his wine looking with curiosity at the banner. _Probably trying to figure out if it’s a real vintage or a copy and what kind of dye was used for the red!_ A burst of affection mixed with desire and love overflows his heart. _I want that, I want all that…_ Turning to the still quarrelling couple, he jumps to stop the conversation.

“You know what’s funny?”

“No…” Molly looks at John with wary eyes.

“Sara. She never brought things at my place. Only a few changes of clothes, personal hygiene… that’s all. It was my place and she was… visiting. She was only _visiting_ my _fucking_ life and I didn’t realize it before it ended!” Putting the banner in his hands, he waves it in front of the two. “This banner, it's proof that Greg doesn’t want to visit you! He wants to BE with you! To have roots in your life! This cheap rip-off, synthetic horror is the proof that he wants to be in your life!” He let go of the memorabilia, picked up his glass of wine and went back in the kitchen.

“What the hell…” Greg looks at Sherlock.

“It may be linked to the fact that we met Sara yesterday, at Selfridge.” As Greg and Molly start apologizing and kissing, murmuring sweets nothing, Sherlock flew to the kitchen.

“Are you all right?”

“Never better.” John reply, his voice cold. “I know I shouldn't have say that…”

“It’s ok, you wanted to help them… I think. Better than me.” He replenished John’s glass. “It was a personal discussion, I didn’t know what to say…”

“Yeah. I know, personal stuff is not your forte!” John’s tone was harsher that what he wanted.

_ What is his problem! _ “I have nothing to do with that, your tone -.”

“Oh! What precisely is wrong with my tone! I think I have the right to be a little angry at you Mr. I-don’t-do-sentiment!” John felt bad as soon as the words were spoken.

“What's the purpose of you lashing out on me?” _I’m doing everything for him to be happy and for what!_

“Nothing bothers you! You are angry at stupid or incompetent people, at things that don’t go as you wanted them to do… but otherwise nothing bothers you!”

“My brother bothers me a great deal!” The tall man protested.

“And love… Have you EVER loved someone, lost someone, been jealous of someone, desired someone so much that it actually hurt?” John face was now inches away from Sherlock’s.

Sherlock backed up, away from John's emotional outburst. “I don’t have to answer, you are angry and do not know what you are saying.” Even paler than usual, he puts his glass carefully on the countertop, walked back in the living where a laughing Greg was trying to pin his banner on the wall while Molly was giving him instructions on how to level the bloody thing. 

Without  a word, Sherlock picked up his coat and left.

 


	8. A night later...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under the influence of few beers and Irene, John decided to talk to Sherlock.

John was at Mike's place, playing a game with a few colleagues from the surgery. It was a small get together to celebrate the start of the Christmas season. He wasn’t in the mood, still not over the argument with Sherlock, but Mike had insisted, curious to met the famous Irene Adler. So here he is, toying with his beer while trying to stay focus on the game but without great success. Not knowing about the riff, Irene was looking curiously at John.

“Are you all right John?” She asks quietly, with a compassionate smile.

“Yes, yes, of course…” He pauses as he was putting his beer to his lips. “No, I’m not all right…”

“Come with me darling, let’s talk…” She delicately put her hand on John’s and leads him in the kitchen, away from the joyful crowd. “Talk to Aunt Irene… What’s wrong?”

“You are younger than me…” The doctor laughs. After a moment, he says “… Am I so transparent?”

“No, don’t worry… But I know the signs.” She sighs and sips her wine for a while.  

“Love is complicated when it’s not… When it’s one sided.” He tells her the events of last evening that left him mortified, _he was nearly shouting at Sherlock for God's sake!_ , as he was simultaneously forced to sit and watch Greg and Molly try not to cuddle for nearly an hour while they both start giving bogus advices on how to patch-up things with Sherlock. Finally being able to leave the new couple to themselves didn't bring any peace, as he slept restlessly certain that he had lost Sherlock's friendship… 

“How do you know that he does not love you?” Her eyes were kind but inquisitive.

“How is it possible for a man like him to love me… He’s brilliant, magnificent when he’s on a case, sexy, beautiful.” The image of Sherlock purchasing the blanket for Ms. Hudson or not wanting to eat fresh pastas at home because ‘he doesn’t want to harm Angelo’s feelings’… “And only a few people know… he’s kind. He’s the first to say that he’s a high-functioning sociopath but this is bullshit!” 

“I think that he’s in love with you but that he doesn’t know how… Love does not come with an instruction manual and it’s troubling him.” _All this is going wonderfully!_

John smiles, thinking of Sherlock’s Cartesian mind. “Yeah maybe… What am I supposed to say?” Thinking of yesterday's outburst he sadly thinks, _I’ve probably said enough…_ “I’ve said things that… hurt him I know.”

“Poor man, you’re into deep! You must find a way to talk to him.” She went to the fridge to get him another beer, his third, while she was still on her first glass of wine.

He took the beer _, I should stop drinking right now._ John turns to watch her. _Why couldn’t I fall for Irene… A woman, this is familiar ground… Easier to read also. Maybe not Irene then,_ he smirks silently _, she’s still an enigma. I still don't understand why she's friends with me. But the way she’s always trying to help Sherlock and me is so sweet._

“You know what you should do now?” As a lost John shakes his head she says. ”Jump in a cab and go get him!”

John rises with determination, put his half finished beer on the countertop. “I think you’re right! This has go on long enough! I must tell him my feelings or at least tries to show him!” Not wanting to distract Mike from his guests, he grabs his coat discreetly and rushes outside to get a cab. The journey wasn’t that long, twenty minutes at most, and John was still pretty pumped up and just a little fuzzy by the beers he drank in the last hour when he stops in front of Sherlock’s flat.  Using his key, the detective gave it to him a few months ago, he walks up the stairs slowly… trying to figure out what he could say to that brilliant man.  _Sherlock? It’s stupid I know but I love you… No, not good… You changed my life in a way that I… God, this is complicated! I should say the truth, Sherlock, I love you and if by any chance you could love me as well I’ll be the luckiest man on earth. OK. Yes, that’s it._

 

John knocks at the door, hoping that his friend wasn’t asleep. After an incomprehensible comment in an exasperated tone and the rustling of papers, he hears the noise of Sherlock steps approaching. The door opens to a haggard detective who clearly hasn’t sleep well in the last 24 hours… His eyes hardened when he realizes that John was standing in front of him, before a mask falls over his sharp features.

“Good evening John. I thought you were at Mike’s place tonight?” His friendly demeanour was cut short by the way he was blocking the entry to his flat. “Have you forgot something here or do you need help with something?”

“Can I come in? Please?” John was looking at Sherlock with all the love he was able to convey.

“Oh... Yes…” He walks back to the sofa where he was reading files and leaves the door open for John. “What’s the matter?”

“Sorry to be so late…” John mutters, closing the door after him. “It’s a speciality of ours I think… Our timing has usually been quite terrible.” He adds, under his breath.

“It’s all right, I wasn’t asleep. Do you want tea? I just made some.”

Accepting that Sherlock was at ease if he was playing the perfect host, John nods and accepts a cup. “Sherlock… Since we met Sara yesterday I’ve been thinking.” Yes, really good Watson, brings the crazy ex-girlfriend into the conversation! “I mean, it forced me to think about why I loved her and what I am expecting in a relationship. You know what I mean?”

Sherlock, was reading his documents while registering everything that John was saying. “It’s a perfect reaction when someone intelligent finds himself in the same perimeters of… a failure. To think about what-if and what-not. You don’t have to worry about how you act yesterday, it was perfectly normal.” _Maybe I could suggest that he goes back to his therapist? Perhaps no, he clearly said yesterday that I know nothing of matter of the heart, how could I know what help he needs right now?_

Feeling that as usual Sherlock was getting things wrong… _And what is this? I acted normal yesterday? Is he also talking about when I lashed out on him?_  John tries the more specific way. “In fact, I didn’t think a lot about Sara… or Alice. My mind was focussing more on why I didn’t try again in the last year or so.” John sits near Sherlock, putting carefully his papers on the hand table. “Why I didn’t want someone in my life… Or more specifically why I didn’t want something _new_ in my life.”

The intensity of John’s attention wasn’t lost on Sherlock, neither the emphasis on _new_ ; he blinks a few times, not knowing what to say. “John… Could you be more precise please?”

“Sherlock Holmes…” He puts a small kiss on the tall man's cheek then murmurs in his ear. “I love you…”. The last coherent thought of the detective was _He does not know what he’s saying… I must be logical for both of us… But…_ Then he turns his face and kisses John as if his life was depending on it. And in a way, it was… 

 

The morning found them entwined in Sherlock bed… _It’s right,_ John chuckles silently, _we crawled into bed at a certain point._  Turning his head slowly, he watches in awe as his friend, his lover, his boyfriend he hopes was still asleep beside him. _It’s incredible, we’ve done it! Finally, we were such stupid cowards!_ Not wanting to put off Sherlock with bad breath and needing to pee _asap_ thanks to last night beers, John slides out of the bed as quietly as possible, smiling like a fool on his way to the bathroom. Before closing the door, he turns to look at the beautiful sleeping man. _Oh my God, last night was perfect._ His heart nearly burst of love when Sherlock placed his lips on his. Once in the privacy of the bathroom, he closes his eyes and lets himself revisits what happen between them… 

> Sherlock lips finally on his… The sensation was tenfold what John was expected! It was exquisite and perfect, it was _home_ … Trying to let detective takes the lead, not wanting to spook him with his enthusiasm, John is happily surprised when the tall man pushes him on the sofa and presses his lengthy torso upon him, kissing and kissing more and more. _Oh sweet God, I won’t be able to stay calm for long…_ The weight of the delicate but nervous muscled man was heavier than he expects and he revels on the feeling.  Spreading his hands on his friend’s back, he caresses his way down until his fingers touch the edge of Sherlock’s trouser. Delicately stroking and caressing, pulling out the hem of his shirt until his fingers touch skin.   _Slow down Watson… Slow… No rush…_ He stops the movement of his hands, even if he resolutely wants to touch the delicious bum the bespoke trouser is hardly hiding, and went up to play with the luscious curls instead. Pressing Sherlock into an even deeper kiss.
> 
>   _I can’t believe we are doing this…_ Kisses. _I want to…_ More kisses _. I want it so much…_ More deep and sloppy kisses. He tries to stay in control of his feelings, but it was impossible! Not when a pliant, willing, sighing John Watson was under him. _It’s too late… Damn the consequences._ At that moment, fingers brush the small of his back and he was definitively lost. His great mind suddenly changing in a vast bright place where everything was John. _Only John._
> 
> Sensing the shift in Sherlock's attitude, the abandon that inevitably won out, the blond man pushes to roll over and fall on the floor, suddenly on top. Grinning, he asks while butterflying kisses everywhere he can reach “Alright, love? Didn’t break anything?” When he hears a muffle ‘no’, he smiles. “Great… You’re wearing way too many clothes.” He delicately undos each small button of the tight shirt, one by on murmuring “How many fucking buttons do you really need, my sweet…” kissing the marble skin after each button as if celebrating a victory.
> 
> Chuckling, the detective replies “Long torso, equals long shirt, equals lots of…. Oh my fucking God!..." Sherlock whimpers "... buttons…” 
> 
> The doctor gently laughs at the swearing.  “Sensitive nipples, then…” 
> 
> Sherlock grunts out, “shut up and don’t stop!” before being unable to talk. His gasp quickly changes in a deep moan that sent a jolt of heat to John’s belly. 
> 
> Lifting his head to look at the man under him, he smirks. _He's so beautiful!_ “I should have known you’d be a bossy lover…” Before going down on the perky nipples in front of him, using his teeth to dexterously bring the man on the brink of madness. _It’s good to have the upper hand for… Ahhhhh… What!_ Not willing to let John choose the pace for long, Sherlock starts to press a leg between John’s, sending waves after waves of the most exquisite sensation to John’s already eager cock. “That’s not fair… Stop… Stop… that…” He says with a raspy voice he didn’t recognize, unable to concentrate enough to decides his next step. _Oh yesss, it’s worse than being a horny teenager._ Feeling Sherlock tremble, John finds the will to place a hand between them until it gets to his lover's trouser and with a quickness created by years of practicing medicine in all kinds of situations, he opens the button, the zipper, pushes down the front of the pant and finally places his hand on Sherlock’s length. The feeling was perfect, it was hot, firm yet soft… from what he was estimating it was well proportioned and the view of a complete naked detective will probably be glorious. He starts to stroke earnestly, rubbing his own prick on Sherlock’s thigh at the same time. Completely gone…
> 
> Grinding on John’s hand, the younger man was bewildered, unable to utter a word but the rush of sensation was doing great things to his Mind. _Like a drug but with no side effects!_ His thoughts were going at a thousand kilometres an hour. _This is good, sooo good. Far better than doing this alone…  I need to calm myself or I will come in no time… How is it possible that he have that control over me… Do I want that? Does he want that? How is it possible that he wants that with ME?_
> 
> Feeling that Sherlock was falling back to thinking too much, John changes the pace and whispers. “You’re so fucking sexy, I want you to come for me, I want you to lose it for me… Just _me_.” John himself was close, the friction of his jeans on his hard length while rubbing on Sherlock was doing wonders. _I won’t last long._ Unable to place his other hand where he wanted, he murmurs between Sherlock groans “Later, I wanted to put my hands on your ass… I’ve been dreaming about that for months… Then I will kiss it, slowly, lovingly… Lick it until you begged me to finger you…” Each word was sending Sherlock a little bit further, if the way he was melting under him was any sign... “But for now, love, I want you to come for me.” Letting finally go, Sherlock cries out his name many times but then tries to stay silent by biting his lips while he was coming in John’s hand, in his trouser. 
> 
> His eyes rolling back before closing, his mouth silently open as he gasps for air, his glorious curls become matted with sweat... He was the most sensual thing John had ever seen.  _And he’s mine…_ With bliss spreading all over him he came a few seconds later, the view of Sherlock's abandon erasing the last bit of self-control.  

Lost in his vivid memory, he never realized that as soon as the bathroom door closed, Sherlock opened his eyes as well but with a confused and tortured look.

John - After he stops with difficulty his wool-gathering - was now rummaging through Sherlock's things with shyness. It wasn’t the first time, as he often gets things for him, but it was still a… first.  Using the costly hair products to try to put order in his tousled hair, opening the package of a new toothbrush… This was all new territory. The intimacy. His pleasantly sore body. _Everything is perfect now, all is falling at his right place._ He restrains with great difficulty the will to hum while brushing his teeth, not wanting to wake up Sherlock. 

Unaware that the detective was now getting up as fast as possible, grabbing the nearest clothes and rushing out of the bedroom. 

Not knowing that the love of his life, the partner of his dreams, was leaving the flat livid and confused.

 


	9. 2 weeks ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 weeks after Sherlock left John alone in his bed, Greg visits 221b.

Sherlock was alone in his flat… the incessant text messages and emails from John finally ended a few days ago. _It was hard, it is still so hard. But it’s what was needed_. Tears were slowly pooling in his eyes at the mere idea of not seeing John ever again. He was lost in his Mind Palace where he was listening again to John accusations, needing to hurt himself in order to resist calling the doctor back… Grasping at his _Mr. I-don’t-do-sentiment… Nothing bothers you! Have you EVER loved someone?_ like some branches to stop his fall. _But he also said that he loved you… He kissed you tenderly and passionately_ , his trouble mind object.

Lost in his memories, the detective never realised that Lestrade was entering the building and, after a few knocks at the door later, the flat.  After a few minutes of small talk without any response, Greg sits beside the man on the sofa. “Sherlock? Do you mind coming back now? Got a case for you…” Greg's voice was trying to penetrate the thick veil around the detective. _God, is it tears in his eyes?_ “Mate, you are worrying me now…”. He was concerned as he hadn’t heard from Sherlock since that night at Molly’s place. He knows, as he talked to a bemused John a couple of days after that night, that the doctor had gone to Sherlock’s flat, that they had talked a bit before the doctor declared his love, had a wonderful fulfilling snogging session that Sherlock was apparently enjoying, sleep peacefully together then… without a word Sherlock flew from his own flat. 

Leaving a destroyed John behind. 

_ This one does not look any better, worse off if anything _ … _What’s wrong with them? A relationship is already not easy, no need to add barriers and unneeded drama to it!_ Knowing that he probably shouldn’t touch him _or is it when someone is sleepwalking?_ Greg puts his hand on his friend shoulder and gives it a shake. “Sherlock…”

Sherlock came back at once, his eyes fly open. Relieved but a bit wretched that it was _only_ Greg. _Not that I want to see John. I… don’t. I can’t._ “Oh, it’s you. What do you want.”  

Delicately, not wanting to push, Greg asks, “I need your help on a case… but that can wait. I don’t want to pry but… Are you ok?”

“Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?” Sherlock tries to get up quickly to make tea but he falls back on the sofa, paler than usual, his legs unable to support him.

“When is the last time that you slept? Ate?” Greg rises to go in the kitchen. “No, don’t move, stay put… I’ll fix you something.” Sherlock lets his head fall on the back of the sofa, turning his gaze to the window. He frowns, trying to figure out what day it is exactly. _How long since I slept more than a few hours… two weeks probably, if I do not count that time a week ago where I think I fainted._ Greg returns quickly with toast and tea. “Eat that, would you.” Lestrade's fatherly look did the trick and Sherlock didn’t protest and begins chewing slowly.

“What’s the case?” The detective asks after he chews half of a piece of toast.

“I am not talking about the case until you explain what’s going on.” He crosses his arms, like when he negotiates with his staff. “And don’t tell me ‘Nothing.’ I am not a genius but I know when something is wrong.”

“Ask away then… Because I can’t think of _anything_ wrong with me that may concern you.”

Rolling his eyes at his friend's words, he sighs, but goes on. “Ok, if you want to play it that way… What’s your version of what happened when John came here from his friend Mike's little _soirée_.” _First things first, I need to know if what John told me is the truth._

“Nothing that should concern you… John and I had a little argument at Molly’s place the night before, he decided to come here to explain himself, not wanting our… friendship to suffer.” He sips at his tea for a few moments “Then… out of the blue he declares that he loved me.”

“What did you say?” Besides the will to assess and correct the situation, Greg was curious of how someone analytic like Sherlock, a self-proclaim high-functioning-sociopath, reacted to such a declaration.

“I… I didn’t know what to do at first.” His voice was only a murmur “I tried to stay focussed to not let John do something that he’s only going to regret… But I failed… I love him so much, Lestrade, I wasn’t able to resist and I just kissed him.” The tall and strong man, able to fight against the cruelest criminals, without flinching, was looking more like a fragile child. “I am so ashamed…” At those words, Greg's heart aches, wanting to engulf Sherlock in his arms.

“Ashamed? How could you be ashamed of loving someone? This is the most powerful emotion of all, you should have been proud of being loved by John and ecstatic to love him in return!”

“Proud? Ecstatic? Do you hear yourself Lestrade?” Sherlock was looking at Greg as if he was a mad man. “How could I’ve have been _proud_ of being loved by him?” 

Lestrade was trying to follow Sherlock thoughts process but it was hard… “Don’t tell me you have a so high opinion of yourself that you think that John does not deserve you?”

“He doesn't deserve me…” As Greg was going to protest, Sherlock continues. “Don’t you see? He’s a loving, caring man. He wants a serious relationship, wants to create a family, I'm assuming. I’m certain that he can be a wonderful father… I love that man more than life itself.” His voice broke as he places his head in his hands, trying to keep the tears at bay. “John does not deserve me because no one deserves to be stuck with me…”

Understanding finally the meaning of what the young man has said, Greg places a hand on his back, stroking slowly. “Sherlock! Don’t say things like that… You are a great man, intelligent, talented, kind to the people who need it, hard on the bastards, but I can’t think of a time where you are not at my side when I’m out of my depth. Which is often as you know.”  The little joke worked and the detective nearly chuckled between his sniffles.

Toying with a cushion, he whimpers, “what's wrong with me?” 

“Nothing is wrong with you… It’s ok to be different.” Greg took the opportunity to refill the tea.

“I'm difficult…”

“To the ones who don’t know you maybe… You're challenging, which is good as it forces us to challenge ourselves!” _And God knows you drive us to be at our best!_

“I’m impossible to love, I’m a… a freak… John may be… _curious_ , maybe he even sincerely thinks he’s in love with me… But you must admit that it won’t last!” _I know that he already slept with men, but nothing serious._

“Don’t talk about yourself like that!” _I must put an end to Anderson and Donovan calling him Freak!_  

The detective sighs profoundly, at last seems to relax. “Anyway, it’s too late… I pushed him away.”

“It’s never too late to do the right thing.” _Time to stop overthinking everything._ “You love him, yes?”

“Yes, of course. That’s not the problem, don’t be an idiot.”

_ Ok, calling me names, that’s good.  _ “And you…” _Oh my God, my life sometimes_ “… enjoyed the intimate part of the evening.”

“Don’t talk like a priest, _yes,_ I enjoyed the sex. John was, as expected, wonderful.”

“Ok, so if you don’t think about the crazy idea that John deserves better than you, if we sum up. You are best friends, he loved you, you loved him and the sex was great.” 

“Yes, but…”

“No BUTs! God! And shut-up it’s my turn to talk!” He looks at Sherlock's mug, still full of tea. “And drink your bloody tea!” He waits until the detective puts an empty mug on the end table. “Listen to me now. I will not say it again. John has known you for two years now and fell in love with you. He knows your character, he knows your quirkiness, he knows how you phase out in your Mind Palace sometimes, he knows that you like to play violin at the weirdest hours… He knows everything and he loves you.”

“But how is it possible…” Sherlock protests, but with a little glitter of hope in his eyes. 

“Don’t sell yourself short, my friend… And John is not perfect. He can be grumpy, stubborn, sometimes impatient… But he’s perfect. For you.” He rises from the sofa, patting Sherlock’s shoulder one last time. “Think about that, before it’s too late.”

“I will… I will… And the case?”  

“There’s not case, it was a cunning ruse to get your attention.” Greg was clearly proud of himself!

“I know, I just wanted you to admit it.” The git smiled, for the first time since Greg’s arrival.

“We’re leaving tonight for the Holiday in Molly’s family, but text me anytime. Take care of yourself, Sherlock, I’m serious. Today - eat, sleep, do things that make you happy… And talk to John as soon as you’re feeling able to.”

“Don’t worry… I will figure out everything.” 

 

 

A few days later, at Christmas at his parent’s house, Sherlock was convinced that he had been… wrong. Looking at his parents, at the love they still clearly have for each other, the detective finally understands. 

  That love is complicated, that love is messy sometimes, that an internationally renowned mathematician can find love with a down-to-hearth man. That they complement each other and that his mum's genius is greater because of the presence of his father. The tranquil strength of that man been a part of each of his mum’s equation for decades. _John could become this for me… The pillar, the strength when I am lost, the key to my mind's peace… And I can learn to give him whatever he needs to feel loved, I am willing to do so much…_

He tried to reach John for hours, getting more and more worried. _Am I too late? Maybe his phone is dead?_ He walked discreetly to the village and called from a cabin. A tired voice responded, “Doctor Watson speaking.”  Sherlock hung up quickly.  _Oh… so he does not want to talk to me._ In a small coffee shop where everyone knows him, _I will never move to a village – NEVER_! Sherlock sent a text to Molly, unaware that John was texting with Greg at the same time…

 

> Molly! John does not want to talk to me… What should I do! SH
> 
> I don’t know, maybe you can talk to him face to face? MH
> 
> Are you crazy, I need to know what he thinks before! SH
> 
> Don’t be so proud Sherlock… Don’t you think that it is worth the risk? MH
> 
> Of course! SH
> 
> Do something or you’re going regret it for the rest of your life! MH
> 
> (…)
> 
> Do you know if John is doing well… SH
> 
> He’s sad, not understanding what going on between you two MH
> 
> I will fix this, I promise. SH
> 
> I know you will. Take care. MH

 

 

> After weeks of silence, Sherlock is trying to get to me. Have you done something? Either Molly or you? JW
> 
> I may have spoken to him a week ago… GL
> 
> What have you said? Did he explain why he disappeared on me like that? JW
> 
> We talked. The most important for now is that you know that you’ve done nothing wrong. GL
> 
> I don’t understand, it wasn’t a fluke for me… It was real. JW
> 
> I can understand that he may have panicked, he’s not really good with sentiment. JW
> 
> But I’ve texted daily for two weeks without any reply! It’s over. I can't... I love him too much to be constantly rejected. JW
> 
> Sorry to bug you about this on your holidays… Anyway, what’s done is done.  It’s over. JW
> 
> Don’t say that… Maybe you should talk to him next time he contacts you? GL
> 
> No, I’m done. It was stupid to think that it was possible. I wish to you both a brilliant New Year's Eve. JW
> 
> Thanks John, Molly sends kisses and wish you the best. But please do something about Sherlock! GL
> 
> Doing something special for the big night? GL
> 
> There’s a charity ball at the hospital, it’s a big thing, but I don’t think I will go. We'll see. I’m not really good with people nowadays. JW
> 
> I understand, take care, mate. GL

 

Putting their respective mobiles down, Molly and Greg exchange a sad look. Happy that they found each other but sorry about those two idiots.


	10. A week ago...

John was at his sister's place when he received Sherlock's first text. Then another, and another… One every hour. Laughing as John was becoming more and more restless, he even put his phone on mute since the beginning of the day!, Harry picked it up while he was in the kitchen checking on the food. On his return, Clara and Harry were reading Sherlock’s texts, cooing ‘poor man’ and ‘men are idiots’…

“What? Give me that Harriet Watson!” He tries to get his phone from her hand, but she tackles him while tossing the phone to Clara.

“John! You must talk to the man!” She was playfully pushing him on the sofa, where she simply sits on her brother to immobilize him. “He clearly love you. It’s all in the sub-text.”

“I don’t want to read them! I’m over him…” His tone was ridiculously unconvincing.

Pining his brother down, Harry winks at Clara who starts reading the texts aloud.

>  Hi, it's me. SH
> 
> You know it’s me, sorry for the obvious. SH
> 
> I mean. I am sorry. SH
> 
> I shouldn’t have act like that, it was stupid. SH
> 
> I don’t mean that I am stupid, but the way I acted was. SH
> 
> Ok, maybe sometimes I am stupid. Like being at my parents’ place for Christmas. This is stupid. SH
> 
> And I should have replied to your texts. SH
> 
> I really should have. To all 34 of them. SH
> 
> Like you should reply to mine… SH
> 
> When you are ready. SH
> 
> Good night John. Merry Christmas. SH 
> 
> It's December 26th. The middle of the holiday season. So, it’s a great moment to be forgiven and everything. SH
> 
> I am back at my place. Ms. Hudson is really jolly. Or she’s having an epileptic crisis. SH
> 
> It’s nerve-wracking either way. SH
> 
> I’ve been sending texts for more than 24 hours now. You really not want to talk to me… It’s ok. I understand. SH
> 
> Sorry. I won’t text again. SH

“This is the last one, one hour ago. John… talk to him! You are obviously not over him…” Clara was trying with pleading puppy eyes.

“Yes, brother, call him! Don’t be proud… He is asking for your forgiveness!”  Harry was hugging her little brother. “Come on…” Then John’s phone rings. For real. A real phone call. John closes his eyes, his resistance fading. _What? He’s actually calling?_ “John! What are you doing! Reply! It’s Sherlock!” Shaking his head, the doctor let the voice mail take care of his heart. _I will simply erase it, I can’t hear his voice…_ But too late, Clara – _that conniving bloody little sister-in-law_ – clicks on the message and Sherlock’s baritone voice resonates in the living room.

“John… It’s me Sherlock… Sorry. Obvious again. I said that I would'nt text you again but I have something to say so… I’m calling you.  But you are either a) not near your phone or b) you don’t want to talk to me.” After a few seconds, the detective chuckles sadly “Or c) you desperately want to talk to me but you’ve been kidnapped _or_ you finally killed that meddling sister of yours and you left the country.” At these words Clara lost it and laughs gleefully. Harry quickly hisses shtttt to quiet her! “I’m so sorry John… the last days have been… Anyway.” The detective voice broke… “If it’s either a) or c) call me back.”   

Clara and Harry look at John expectantly, but John simply pushes his sister away and stalks out of the room.

 

_5 days later..._

Sherlock, was agitated. Not knowing what to do… _I apologized! Many times! And I did nothing wrong! I was… I was confused and I needed time to think, that’s all!_ “MS. HUDSON!”

The old lady, who was trying to change Sherlock mood by giving him all his favourite threats, summersaulted. “Yes, darling.”

“I’ve said I was sorry. I never said sorry that much time in my life. No even to Mommy when I burned her vison coat.” He was pacing the living room, unable to relax. “What can I do! It’s been DAYS! Nearly a WEEK!”

“Are you talking about John, Sherlock?” The poor lady was already a little tipsy as she opened a second bottle of champagne to celebrate the upcoming year.

“Of course! Who else! If you have nothing to say that can help me, please shut up and go! But leave the biscuits.”

She taps him roughly on the hand. “SHERLOCK!”

“Sorry…” The detective was really looking contrite… _I’m messing up everything._

“That’s ok, you’re under great stress at present…”

“That! THAT’S NORMAL! I said sorry, you said ok… That’s all, case closed!”

“Matters of the heart are more complicated” The experienced lady murmurs, hugging Sherlock. “Maybe try to do something that he knows it’s difficult for you, something out of the ordinary…”

“I can’t just send flowers…” The man argues with a defeated tone. “I tried.”

“Ooohhh Sherlock. Don’t worry you’re gone find something. For now, we are relaxing, drinking champagne and waiting for the fireworks on the tv. It’s New Year’s Eve, I don’t want you to stay here alone…”

“Ms. Hudson!” He kisses her on both cheeks “You’re a genius!” He sent a text quickly to Greg then went for a quick shower and a change of clothes.

 

John was bored to death. And sad. Probably more sad then bored. He was sitting at a big round table, with Mike and his wife as well as other friends from work. Irene was here with him, she’s the one who forced him to get out of his flat, but his table was empty as all the other were dancing or at the bar. He sighs, wondering if he could sneak out to before the countdown to midnight. What else can be done when you are at a New Year’s Eve party, without someone you wanted to kiss. 

Mike was coming back to the table with two drinks, a big goofy smile on his lips. “Ouf! I can’t dance like this anymore! I’m more a slow pace kind of dancer…” He sits down  heavily and looks at him. “Are you ok, mate?” He places a drink in front of John.

“Yes, yes… I’m just tired, is all.” _Who am I fooling…_ “I’ve been stupid… I don’t know what to do. I still love him, you know but… but I can’t forget those weeks were he let me imagine the worst. It was important for me, it was… us. Finally. And then he abandoned me.” He raises his glass to Mike and takes a sip. “He’s not the only one with doubts and questions. He should have been able to wait for us to talk together.” Mike, not knowing what to say – is there anything to say – nods and sips his drink, his hand on John’s shoulder.

His wife found them still lost in their thoughts fifteen minutes later. “Boys! It’s almost midnight! Come on, Mike - I want to dance with you!” She drags her husband onto the dance floor. “And you, Doctor Watson, Irene is waiting for you!” John rolls his eyes, knowing perfectly well that Irene wasn’t in need of a partner for the last dance of the year. With either a man or woman! She was in fact dancing currently with a pretty blonde, even if she was glancing at him frequently.  He shakes his head, ‘Don’t worry, I’m fine’ in her direction and rises to leave the reception hall, not wanting to be around the tumultuous crowd at midnight.

 

Sherlock was running, mentally thanking Greg for John's whereabouts, trying to figure out the fastest way to do the few kilometres between his flat and the reception hall where the doctor was. _John, My John…_ His shoes were slipping on the lightly snowy sidewalk, his curls bouncing in every way destroying the two minutes styling he had done before rushing out of 221b. Each passing minute bringing memories of the last two years.   _It looks that we will never be friends… Go on, impress the boy!... I’m sorry John, I don’t do friends… Nice meeting you again, hope to see you at another time… I wouldn’t endure half of your quirks from a mere date!... I am your friend… You can tell me anything… I don’t need happiness!... Oh God John I was a fool, I was so wrong!_ He remembered John's look of possessiveness when someone looked at him too closely, his eyes when he said ‘I love you’… When his hands were on him… He finally turned onto the street and found himself in front of the hotel. His chest was heaving, trying to get control of his breath. He had run faster than he ever had, even when trying to catch a criminal, but John was worth a thousand cases.  He adjusted his suit, tried to fix his curls and walked inside the hotel in search of the reception hall.

   

John was advancing with difficulty, passing thru the couples and happy inebriated bachelors, barring with a tight smiles the advances of many women and a few men, before he reaches the edge of the room. He closes his eyes for a second, the sadness of being without Sherlock suddenly overwhelming. 

“John…”

The doctor opens his eyes slowly, not trusting his ears… It was real, Sherlock was in front of him. The beautiful, mad man… _Oh Fuck, I missed him so much!_

“John… I won’t talk to you again if you don’t want me to, but could you please… Give me a minute. Please.” Sherlock was uncustomarily nervous.  “First, I want to say that I’m sorry about the way I… abandoned you that morning.” John remains silent, not trusting himself to not simply jump in his arms already. “It wasn’t something that you’d done.” The brightest smile appears for a second “You were… perfect. Simply perfect.” His head falls, it was clearly hard for him to express his feelings, especially in such a public place. “I've been thinking a lot in the last weeks. And I realize, among many things, that I never answered you..” 

With a small voice, John asks “About?”

“I love you, too.”

With blinking eyes, John utters “What?”

“I never replied to your declaration. I’m doing it now officially. Doctor John H. Watson, I love you.” As he was gazing into the eyes of the man in front of him, the countdown starts and the partygoers start singing and shouting.

“How am I suppose to respond to that?” John chuckles as hope was spreading in his chest.

“You can tell me that you still love me… That I didn’t muck up everything.”

“Are you sure… I won’t be able to go thru that again. I don’t want pity, I don’t want uncertainty, I want you. You and everything that comes with it. I’m willing to deal with the craziness and everything as long as you love me.”

“I love you. I love that you don’t accept any bullshit from me, I love that you are impressed by what I do, but know your own worth, I love that your very presence made me better, I love that you nag me to eat and to sleep… I love when you leave my flat and that your scent is everywhere around me but I prefer it even more when you are near me and that I can sense it directly from you, I love that you are the last person I text in the evening and the first in the morning...” He frowns a little “In fact, I think it would be more efficient if we were in the same bed, but if you want to go slowly I understand…” His eyes lock onto John's, hoping that he’s able to convey all the love he fells in each fibre of his body. Balloons and confetti were falling around them as the hour struck twelve. “And, at last, I am here because when you are honest enough to see the truth and realize that you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.”

A gobsmacked John shakes his head “Oh God, what am I supposed to say to that!”

With a coy smile, Sherlock suggests, “I love you, maybe? And that you’re ok with the whole ‘sharing a bed’ thing?”

Taking the tall man by the lapels of his coat, he pulls him into a kiss and murmurs between each breath. “I love you”. After few minutes, a blushing Sherlock and John realise that the crowd was cheering them.

“Happy New Year, My darling John…” The detective wishes gently, holding the doctor close.

“Happy New Year, My love…”

 

*  

Far from the excitement, Irene Adler was sending pictures of the couple to an unregistered number.

> You were right, they are made for each other. IA
> 
> Thank you for your cooperation in this matter, you will be greatly rewarded. JM
> 
> And now? IA
> 
> I will let them have a few months of bliss… Then the Game will begin. JM

Closing her phone, Irene watches the couple that was now dancing among the crowd, a feeling of uneasiness in the pit of her stomach. She brushes it away quickly, _They are strong enough..._ and walked languorously in the direction of the perky blonde, leaving her guilt behind her. 

 

Fin!

_If you read that far... Please leave a kudos and or a comment so I know that I didn't lost your interest somewhere!  Thanks!_

**Author's Note:**

> Hello you!
> 
> Have you seen When Harry met Sally?
> 
> If yes, what's your favourite bit?
> 
> If no, what are you waiting for?

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The (secret) movie!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13705200) by [MorganeUK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganeUK/pseuds/MorganeUK)




End file.
